We have all heard stories of one person being used by another in a relationship. While it is normal to be codependent or relying on each other, it is different to be used. Initially, you may have not realized it but eventually, you found yourself asking, how do I know my girlfriend is using me.
Few obvious signs scream out if your girlfriend is using you. Remembering you only when she needs something, being very easily irritated or annoyed at you, these are a few of the traits you have to keep a lookout for.
If you can’t find logical reasons behind her strange actions, then take a closer look because you may have got yourself a manipulator. As painful as it is, if you think your girlfriend is using you, watch out for the mentioned traits to find out. With the help of this list, you can easily clear your doubts and get past this hurdle.
Why Do Women Use Men?
Humans use each other for their benefit all the time. But when it comes to a relationship it’s not acceptable. While men use women for emotional support, women use them for entirely different reasons. And that is exactly why men find it hard to see the obvious signs.
Women use men mostly for material things like money and wealth. Some women even use men for their career or intimacy purposes.
If you notice your dates to be only in expensive restaurants or shopping malls, you have got yourself a gold digger. Women use men for their money, they find it easier to woo a man to spend money on her than to earn it.
It’s not always about money. Women use men to fulfill their sexual desires as well. When a man is incapable of fulfilling them, she easily moves on to another. It is about fulfilling their desires with whoever can.
If you notice her showing affection and interest mostly in the work hours, then she’s after a career advancement. You are a stepping stone that might help her career to advance, and thus she is only using you for that.
9 Signs That She is Using You
I have mentioned the reasons why women use men. Some women make it very obvious that they are using you while others are more discrete. You may not notice it in the beginning but people around you sure do understand it.
If you don’t notice them at all, then you’ve got yourself a master manipulator. She makes it seem like you voluntarily do these for her. Whereas, in reality, she is manipulating you to do so. Without further ado let’s look at the obvious signs of your girlfriend using you.
1. Remembering you when in need
When you notice that your girlfriend only remembers you when she needs something, you’ll know she’s using you. She will come running to you whenever she’s in trouble or is in need. You are the most necessary set of hands for her or a car or a wallet.
She calls you when she needs to be picked up from work or needs to go shopping. You become the savior for her but the truth is you are only being used by her.
2. Hot and cold
Here is one very common sign if your girlfriend is using you. You go on a date to a fancy place and have a lovely evening with her. But the next morning you notice her being as cold as an iceberg. You try your best to pacify her but to no avail. But suddenly she strokes your leg or is extremely loving out of nowhere.
This hot and cold behavior is a sign that your girlfriend is using you. She behaves however she likes whenever without paying any heed to what you do or say.
3. Avoids talking about you
Do your girlfriend’s friends and colleagues know who you are? If not, then know that you are a secret of hers. She does not want to disclose your identity and is only with you for as long as it serves her.
She prefers to go to parties or hangouts alone, giving excuses like needing space. But she is embarrassed by you or is already maintaining her image of being single to leech on the next host.
4. Doesn’t listen to you
Women are usually good listeners and are the ultimate emotional support for men. But if you notice your girlfriend not listening to you or your problems, then know that you’re not for the keeps.
All your conversations are about her and the things surrounding her. She hardly asks how your day was or couldn’t care less about the happenings of your life.
5. Checks out other men
Did you notice your girlfriend checking out other men? If yes, then she is not serious about you and is only using you. She gets a lot of personal messages from other men and is actively replying to them, knows that she will move on to the next guy that fulfills her requirements leaving you all alone and stuck.
She may show you all the requests and reposts she gets, she may portray that she trusts you. But that trust could only be on you as a friend, and she wouldn’t think twice before leaving you.
6. You are the one always apologizing
Whether it’s your mistake, it is always you who apologizes at first. She guilt-trips you or throws tantrums to make you feel guilty, even if she’s the one at fault. If this is a regular occurrence in your relationship, you’ve got yourself a master manipulator.
After every quarrel or fight, she cries or threatens to break up and you end up apologizing or begging her. This relationship is unequal even to her. She only thinks about herself and you are just a convenience for her.
7. Least bothered about your problems
“So, you won’t come to pick me up?”, is the first thing she asks when you call her to inform her that you just rammed your car. She hardly cares about you or your car but only the fact that she just lost her commute system for the day.
She is never the first one to come or call when you are in trouble. In fact, she avoids you, especially when you are in problems. You are only for her convenience, and she doesn’t care about you.
8. Avoids skin-ship
If she avoids any kind of kinship with you even after months of dating, then you might be only of use to her. She brushes your hand when you hold hands with her or push you away when you try to kiss her. She is not in for the long run with you and is only using you for other purposes.
9. Being secretive
Does your girlfriend tell you about everything and everyone? If not, then she is only using you and sharing certain matters doesn’t serve the purpose. She does not deem it necessary to share everything with you because you don’t matter as much as you think you do.
It is heartbreaking to know that your girlfriend is using you, but it is better to not proceed with this relationship further. If you find yourself asking “How do I know if my girlfriend is cheating on me?” then that itself is a red signal.
Go through the signs I’ve talked about and look for any hints that indicate that you are being used. Then take the course of action you see fit.