Can your best friend be the opposite gender?

Can your best friend be the opposite gender?
Can your best friend be the opposite gender?

Best friends are the ones we can rely on, no matter what. They rarely judge and they are always there to lend a helping hand. But what happens if your best friend happens to belong to the opposite sex? Could it work without any strings getting attached to the ‘relationship’?

As long as neither party develops romantic feelings during the friendship and their priorities don’t change, having a best friend from the opposite sex can be beneficial to both parties. Often people realise they have more in common and less tension once they get past the fact that they have different bits down there.

However, some people will never even consider the idea of having a best friend from the opposite sex, while others swear that’s the only way. In certain cases, when we are talking about a male-female friendship, at least one of the parties has romantic feelings towards the other, hoping that the friendzone can eventually turn into romance.

That’s not always the case though, either. And many argue that having a best friend from the opposite sex comes with many perks. They can even set you up with someone, sealing the deal for you, if you are too shy to approach the person you like.

Not to mention that they know quite a lot about their own sex, so, if you need expert advice (or a shoulder to cry on), your best friend from the opposite sex could just be the one you need (in a non-romantic way).

They can give advice on what to where and what not to do in order to avoid disaster. Oh, and have we mentioned that it’s very unlikely that your best friend from the opposite sex would steal the person you really like? Yep, that happens in same sex friendships (a lot).

Hanging out. What’s it like?

As we said, once you get past the fact that you don’t belong to the same gender, things can get quite cosy and interesting (of course, not in a sexual way). You chose him or her to be your best friend, because you already had something in common, right?

Well, add a few extra perks to that, like mentioned above, and voila: you have a nice brew there. You can go out without having to worry about dressing up, as well as you can stay in in your home wear. Nobody is going to judge, because you aren’t there to impress the opposite sex, right?

Hanging out with your best friend from the opposite sex can be fun, relaxing and entertaining, especially if you keep getting the ‘oh, you are such a cute couple’ comments. Be careful not to give false promises though or act like you are in a relationship.

We are best friends, but how do we stay that way?

You became best friends with someone from the opposite sex, which is an achievement many only dream of. You got past the fact that you aren’t the same, but what next? How do you stay this way?

Although not many friendships last for ever, having a best friend from the opposite sex brings different challenges into your life. While nobody will question your being friends with someone from the same gender, having him (or her) around, especially if both of you are young can raise concerns.

Let’s face it. When you have a best friend, you want to do everything together. That means spending most of your time together, too, including late night movies, going out or staying in. To the outside world, that pretty much resembles dating.

The two of you know the truth, but not everyone will accept or understand that. But that’s okay. As long as you make a few compromises and accept that you have to prove to others that you can make this work, eventually these obstacles will lessen.

What if one of us develops feelings?

When your best friend belongs to the opposite sex, it’s important to set out some ground rules. It’s also crucial that you don’t derive from them, or if you do, you have to be honest with each other for the friendship to work.

If it gets too much, or too intimate, say so, especially if you aren’t okay with it. Faking feelings and lying to yourself and your best friend will only lead to heartache and frustration.

If one of you develops feelings, you need to decide whether you can go about the friendship the same way or not. And, if you do decide to switch things up and start dating, there is a risk of losing out on the friendship.

It’s up to the two of you to decide what’s more important, and what risks to take and which ones to avoid. But first of all, whatever happens, talk about it. Because you are so close to each other, having an honest chat will be easier than for most. It might be a bit awkward, yes, but

My partner doesn’t accept my best friend, because of jealousy

Now that’s a tricky one. If your partner doesn’t accept the fact that your best friend is from the opposite sex, that is a problem that can’t be ignored. You might feel like you have to choose, and that might easily be the case somewhere down the line.

You might also feel hurt by this, because you are just friends, right? So, why can’t your partner feel the same way and trust you enough to know that you wouldn’t cheat on them?

Well, it isn’t always that simple unfortunately. Your partner might have had bad experiences in the past, which makes them vary. As much as you don’t want to admit it, you might have given him a chance to be jealous, too. Have you talked about anything else lately than your best friend? Could you be developing feelings?

You need to look deep within to see what the issue is and if it can be fixed. Try talking to your partner and your best friend, too, finding a solution. Remember that because you and your best friend are so close, your partner might feel like there are three people in this relationship. Talk it out and come up with something that would work for everyone.

I have more in common with my best friend than with my partner

Just because your best friend and your partner are both from the same sex, it doesn’t mean that you can’t have different things in common with both. It might be that your best friend always makes you laugh and you play pool together, while your partner is quite the introvert, who doesn’t like to go out.

That doesn’t mean though that you should date your best friend. You chose both of them for different reasons, and unless you are sexually attracted to your best friend, there is nothing to worry about.

Your partner will differ from you (and even from your best friend) in many ways, but that’s okay. As long as there is a connection there, you should be fine. However, this could cause a rift between you and your partner, especially if because of your differences, you decide to spend more time with your best friend than your partner.

Balance is key here. Try to make time for both of them, and get to know your partner the same way you know your best friend. Remember, you had plenty of time to bond with your best friend already, so why not give your spouse a chance, too?

You might be surprised at what you find.

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