Every relationship is about trust, knowing ourselves and the other person and sacrificing certain things – to gain others. A relationship between two introverts brings different challenges compared to a relationship between two extroverts, or an introvert and an extrovert, but that’s okay, as long as both parties are willing to accept them and work on the issues that arise.
Because of all the similar interests, if two introverts manage to give each other enough space and freedom (within limits of course), they could make an amazing couple, living in a loving and fulfilling relationship. Their relationship would be a little bit of both worlds. No need to pretend to be someone they are not, because they understand each other’s issues, while still doing the things they love – together this time.
Although many people claim that opposites attract each other, and that what’s missing from one can be found in the other, that theory might be thrown out the window when it comes to two introverts dating each other.
When two introverts start dating, it’s different than if they got together with an extrovert. There won’t be many rows about where to go on a date night, because of the similar taste. A cosy night in with a movie or a book will probably be the first choice for both of them.
The only issue is that they are normally doing these activities on their own, in their own cocoon. It takes a lot of effort for an introvert to let another person into their life and heart, even if that person is another introvert.
Both introverts might be so set in their own ways and appreciate their own company so much that it could prove difficult for them to adapt to having someone around. They are used to being on their own, doing their own thing. Introverts need that comforting knowledge that they can revert back to that safety net anytime. This could cause a rift between them, as they can feel like they could throw the relationship away anytime – because it’s the easier, safer option for them.
Introverts and date night. How does it work?
When introverts start dating, awkward moments are less expected than in other relationships. Why? Because it’s very unlikely that one of them would want to go to a crowded disco, while the other one would prefer a quiet night in.
There is no need for weird small talk about things they don’t have a clue about, either. True, they might not agree completely on the type of movie to watch, but they will most probably have the same idea of cuddling up on the sofa, eating popcorn and watching a movie.
Of course, that isn’t to say that a date night between two introverts is boring. Far from it. Staying indoors ‘forces’ them to be creative in different ways. While two extroverts might spend their date bungee jumping, two introverts will explore what their minds have to offer.
And that’s an interesting avenue to explore. Debates, discussions, mental teasing, you name it. Not to mention that because they are so focused on their minds and emotions (being accused quite often of living in their own heads), in a relationship, it might just be a bobby bonus.
Especially in the bedroom, since both parties will be emotionally and mentally connected. They will tune into the other person, and, being so similar, they will instinctively know what the other person wants.
What if both are set in their own ways?
As we said earlier, every relationship is about compromise, but in case of two introverts that decide to date each other, this could be a tricky point. Because they are so set in their own ways, it is extremely hard for them to accept the other person’s opinion – especially if it defers from their own.
This is where most of the arguments originate from in introvert-introvert relationships, especially if there are quite a few differences in their hobbies and pastime activities (yes, as much as it sounds unbelievable, there is more to being an introvert than just watching movies and reading books).
One of the introverts might prefer drawing in silence, while the other one always listens to music. So, how do they make a compromise? Some introvert couples get around this in a way that pleases them both. One day it’s A’s way, then next day it’s B’s. Or they simply give each other some space while these activities take place.
Everyone needs a little bit of freedom in a relationship, unless of course they want to lose their own self in the process of becoming a couple. This isn’t different for two introverts, either, regardless of whether they prefer the same activities or not. Staying indoors together doesn’t necessarily mean that they need to be glued together all the time.
What about freedom?
Introverts, even in a relationship, will want their freedom way more than extroverts (and in different ways, too). Some introverts get stressed out if they don’t have their quality me time, and that needs to be regular for them, too. Preferably every day.
That doesn’t mean that they are needy, no. They simply need their daily comforts. It’s important to note though that freedom for introverts isn’t about going out and sleeping with other people. Introverts don’t want to be free that way. It’s not commitment they are afraid of, on the contrary: they are as loyal as they can be.
It’s the feeling of losing their comfortable, single way of living that scares most introverts (aka having to spend time with someone else when they would prefer to be alone). To many introverts, this is a big dilemma, and, unfortunately, many of them don’t get into relationships (or get out them soon) for this very reason: they don’t want anyone to tell them what to do and when, especially since they are quite capable of doing it themselves.
The biggest problem lies in their knowledge that they are essentially fine on their own (that’s the whole point of being an introvert). So, when two introverts get together, they need to find a way to be introverts together. Trust us, it sounds easier than it is.
I’m an introvert, should I date another introvert?
Absolutely. As an introvert, let’s face it, a relationship will be a challenge either way. Most of the times, introverts compromise more than extroverts, if they want to make the relationship work. And true, there will be arguments and fights and compromises to make in an introvert-introvert relationship as well, that doesn’t mean that you should give up before even starting it.
You have asked this question because you feel ready for a relationship, and that’s a great start. What comes next is totally up to the two of you. Having another introvert as a lover will make things different, but in a good way. The other person’s closeness and similarities can even boost your confidence and self-esteem.
It isn’t easy for an introvert to be in a relationship, and it isn’t easy to be in a relationship with an introvert. But if they both have similar issues, concerns and doubts about being in a relationship, they can make it work and end up creating something amazing.