Falling in love can be catastrophic. All the more so if you’re too vulnerable and needy in a relationship. It’ll bring out a side of yours that you never thought existed. That side will pull you deeper into the pit if you don’t fight back the radical emotions. And in the end, you’ll end up losing your significant other in the process. So how to fix a relationship after being needy?
The best way to fix a relationship that has already dwelled under rock bottom is to provide some time and space to let the wounds heal while you work on yourself in the process. If the relationship ended because of your need to always be too clingy, then you need to work on your shortcomings.
Imperfections are fine, but you need to realize that you should not be an emotional burden to your significant other. You should know that they have feelings and are going through a lot as well. So, you cannot expect them to always carry your emotional luggage. Only when you feel comfortable in your own skin and enjoy your own company can you cease your need for being so clingy.
What Does It Mean to Be Needy?
Being needy is the excessive desire for affection, reassurance and not to mention attention. While wanting all these are normal for the human race, obsessing over them will not lead to a positive outcome.
For centuries, it has been deemed that only women are the needy ones in a relationship. While that is true, the adjective needy is not gender-specific. A man can just as well be needy as a woman.
When you’re constantly asking for others’ approval, you’re diminishing your own worth. You’re now giving the other person all the power in the world to judge you. Thus, only when you receive their approval, that is when you feel at ease and reassured.
One might label this type of behavior as attention-seeking as you’re constantly seeking attention, approval, and love from another individual. Needing constant attention from your loved one will lead to detrimental effects which you won’t be able to control in the end.
And if you keep on persisting, that one person whom you’ve put all your trust in will start finding you annoying and unattractive because of your neediness.
How Neediness Ruins a Relationship
When you constantly crave attention and affection from your significant other, you slowly push them away. The nagging and whining will at one point drive them insane. And if they refuse to deal with it, they have every right to step away from that relationship.
Just as your mental health matters; theirs do as well, and we should all take care of it. It’s needless to say that neediness can lead to severe toxicity, so if your partner gets a whiff of your innocent toxic nature, they have every right to leave.
When you’re needy, you get upset at the slightest things. For example: if your significant other wishes to spend more time with her friends and family, you may get upset. In your defense, you just want them to spend more time with them. But this comes off as very controlling and obsessive behavior on your end.
Constant calling and texting, getting jealous easily, and moving too fast in a relationship when the other person is not ready is very scary and not to mention toxic. You cannot force or beg someone to talk to you. Your over-the-top gestures will not make them stay if they’ve already planned on leaving.
What you can do to save the relationship is making sure that the other person is not uncomfortable. And if you’re confident with yourself, you won’t need everyone’s approval.
How To Fix the Relationship?
The basics of what to do should come to you naturally. As you’re reading this article, I’m sure you at least realize your problem of being too needy. Now, all you have to do is work on not being as demanding for attention.
To revive your relationship to its previous state, here are some things that you should do:
Don’t beg them to come back
If the first thing you do after someone breaks up with you is begging them to come back, then mate, you’re doing it all wrong. This way, you’re showing them the most extreme form of neediness, which will further push them away.
This will just do the exact opposite of what you’re hoping for. And after you push them even further away, there will be no more room for you to win back your lover. Instead, they will see you in a degrading light, and you’ll lose your self-respect in front of them.
This is why it’s so important to stay true to yourself and refrain from getting too clingy once in a relationship. You might think that you’re not in the wrong, and you aren’t, but that does not necessarily mean that your significant other will feel the same way. And if the tables were turned, who knows, maybe you would’ve felt annoyed as well.
Give them space
This is very crucial and shows what kind of person you vouch to be after the separation. If things don’t work out and the two of you separate, make sure that it’s on amicable terms. We already covered the part where you’re not supposed to beg them to come back. Now the next thing is to give them space.
If you’ve been needy throughout the relationship, your partner is already too tired of you. After they cut things off, you must give them plenty of space. This way they will understand that you don’t need them and that you’re also working on your neediness. If you’re not keen on contacting them, chances are that after a while, they’ll start to miss you.
Over time, they’ll understand that you’ve changed and later on if they contact you or vice versa, you’ll be able to build a better and more trustworthy bond with them which will strengthen the relationship.
Work on yourself
Now that you know that you cannot contact your ex-significant other, you need to focus your time and effort on yourself. This will not only be good for you but everyone around you. And let’s face it, you cannot love another if you do not love yourself first.
After figuring out the things that went wrong in the relationship, it’s time for you to correct or improve your behavior so that you don’t end up making the same mistakes twice. You should solely be living your best life during this time. Hit the gym, eat healthily and start picking up activities that give you the most satisfaction.
Go out and just live your life
Being hung up on a person is difficult as it is. You need time away so that you can concentrate on your life more. If you seek validation from others all the time, you won’t be able to truly trust and love yourself.
While you’re working on improving the flaws, take time out and spend that with your friends. Meet new people and make new friends. The world is big enough for all of us, and you’re allowed to do whatever makes you happy; unless you’re hurting others.
Spending time with people who lift your spirits will boost your self-confidence and allow you to feel better in your skin. Try out new hobbies that you’ve always wanted to do. What you need to understand is that self-love is the most important of all, and for you to fix this relationship, you need to have that first.
So, is it too late to win him or her back? No! But to do so, you need to make sure that you don’t repeat your past behavior which will be off-putting for your significant other. Having come to the end of the article, I hope you were able to understand how to fix a relationship after being needy.
Thank you very much, and I wish you the best of luck on repairing your relationship!