The human race is known to be quite sensitive. One moment they claim to be the most advanced and intelligent species in the world and in the next, they fail to function properly without proper love and affection. At the end of the day, it’s hard to go by without any companions.
I’ve always considered myself to be emotionally independent but there were times when I just wanted to be surrounded by different types of people. It’s hard making new friends. But you know what’s worse? It’s trying to figure out how to join an existing group of friends. Some find it to be a piece of cake while for others it can turn out to be a nightmare.
You can always start by identifying which group you want to be a part of. Start by making small-talk. Don’t think that you’ll magically be a part of their group in a day or two. But persevere until you get the results you want.
There’s a lot more to this. So, keep reading to find out.
Why Do Some People Have No Friends?
Some people prefer to be that way
As much as this statement might send shockwaves through the hearts of all extroverts, there are a handful of people who’d prefer to stay alone than attend parties and make friends in their leisure hours.
They’re unable to act normal
If you’ve isolated yourself for years on end and then one fine day, find the need to interact with others, of course, you’ll be faced with exceeding amounts of difficulties. You’ll face problems interacting with other normal human beings and end up with zero connections.
How to Join An Existing Group of Friends?
Now, what can you do? It’s not easy inserting yourself in an existing group of friends and the rejection possibility can be pretty high. But nothing’s impossible when you have the sheer will and determination to take you forward. Here, what you can do –
1. Get you’re A-game on and work on your approach
No one’s lying when they tell you that the first impression is sometimes all you need when making future strong relations.
- Get close with one of the members: It’ll be hard to approach the whole group on your own so it’s advised to get friendly with a current member of the group so that you can be comfortable when meeting the rest of the gang.
Try to act natural and spend some one-on-one time with individual members of the group. This way you won’t feel intimidated when the whole group gets together.
In this process, you will also be able to tell the said individual about your interests in joining the group. But this is only if you feel a certain level of comfort opening up about this topic. Just bring it up casually and don’t be disheartened if it doesn’t go your way.
- Join clubs and other activities where you’ll find more members to connect with: This is always useful as you’ll find more topics to discuss and it’ll further facilitate the overall conversation.
Once you get close to some of the members, don’t be afraid to invite them over to your events. This way, you might also get to know the rest of the members of the group. Make sure it’s an event you want to organize and not some extravaganza to express the folks.
- Attend events and have fun: Let them know that you’re not a loner and would love to hang out and connect with others. People are more drawn to more outgoing personalities than those who prefer to keep themselves isolated from the rest of the world.
Self-confidence works wonders in such cases. Your aura and the way you carry yourself will play a major role in how others view you.
2. Remember to stay true to yourself
Don’t get lost in the sea of validation. It’ll feel good at first and continue for a while but after a period of prolonged satisfaction, you’ll start to feel drained due to this newfound need of pleasing others.
- Don’t forget old friends: This comes without saying but you might subconsciously be straying away from your old pals while getting cozy with the new ones. Don’t forget old connections no matter how much more you enjoy spending time with the new group.
- Don’t change yourself while trying to blend in with the crowd: It’s always a wholesome thing to show interest in other people’s likes and dislikes. But don’t end up wearing that as your own. Be true to yourself, otherwise, you’ll feel disoriented.
- Make sure you have something to offer as well: As you’ll be joining a new group, think about what you’re going to bring to the table. Don’t feel pressured but if there’s anything you excel at or love, don’t be shy to share it with the rest of the members. It can be anything from sports to music or even a dumb hobby. It’ll surely add value to the group.
3. Don’t be afraid of letting go
If things go smoothly, you’ll end up feeling like a full-fledged member of a group in no time. But life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. With time, if you start to feel like a pariah, don’t be afraid of letting go. Clinging onto one-sided friendships will never amount to anything.
This isn’t always the case though. Sometimes, even if you feel like a hanger in the group, chances are that they still care about you. It’s just that when you insert yourself in an existing friend group, the rest of the members may not be aware of excluding you unintentionally. It’s just that they’ve known each other longer and will be more attached to the primary members.
So it’s okay to feel left out at times.
But if things get unbearable, you will always have the option to leave
- Too much attachment will lead to a heartbreak: There’s no denying the feeling of ecstasy when joining a new group. You can’t help but put them on a pedestal. Most of the sentiments come from a place of wanting to belong somewhere.
This can turn ugly real quick depending on your level of control over your emotions. If things don’t turn out the way you want, you will be upset. But it won’t end your life. You will still be able to make more friends elsewhere.
- It still doesn’t work out even after years: Many of the times, things work out from the get-go. And when it doesn’t, it continues to face the same faith even after decades.
If you continue to feel like a second-class member in your group, you should know when to draw the line. Chances are that the group won’t be your cup of tea no matter how many cups of it you force yourself to have.
As I mentioned before, joining a new group of people can be both frightening and exhilarating. There are times it’ll come naturally while at other times you might need to work your way in. If you’re in a new environment, you might even get pulled into a specific group. This might not always be the case but the chances are there.
Remember to stay true to yourself while following this manual on how to join an existing group of friends. Don’t get dragged into anything you’re uncomfortable with and always remove yourself whenever you feel ill-treated. Trust me, forcing yourself into a hostile habitat will leave you with even more anxiety and depression.
Those are things you want to avoid at all costs. Even so, just stay optimistic while you go out there and start making some new friends!