As someone who regularly suffers from social anxiety and low self-esteem, I know a thing or two about being friendless. Moreover, the people I approached for friendship were wrong for me. I understand the crushing feeling behind the seemingly simple statement, I have no friends to hang out with. But what to do about it?
Firstly, don’t use your situation to judge yourself. It’s okay not to have any friends at the moment. Find something you enjoy doing by yourself. If you can’t find anything like that, write a wish list of things you would like to do solo. The key point is to try to be okay with the situation by doing something worthwhile by yourself. In short, hang out with yourself.
It’s better said than done, I know. That’s why I have uniquely designed this article to help you find all the answers by yourself. There are some self-asked questions in this post. When you find a question, please write it down on paper with the answer. Be honest while answering. Consider this practice as a means to discover your true potential.
3 Things I Do When I Have No Friends To Hang Out With
In recent years, I have learned a lot of things about myself. I have been on a journey of self-discovery since then. In my journey, I have found that the true cause of having no friends lies in the garbled programming of my subconscious. You’ll attract things that don’t make you happy when you operate in “I am not worthy” mode (like the old me).
From all I have learned, I have compiled five helpful ideas for you when you don’t have any friends to spend time with. These ideas have helped me rebuild myself completely. After practicing these techniques, I have attracted great friendships I never thought were possible. Here are the three things I do when I have no friends to spend time with-
1. Embrace Self-love
Self-love starts with self-discovery. Ask yourself, “Right now, how incomplete do I feel without any friends?” Your honest answers about yourself solve a lot of problems.
If you think you are incomplete without friends, you should find out why you feel so. Ask yourself what values you think only friends can put in your life. Why do you feel so empty without friends? Why won’t you enjoy it if you go out and have lunch or dinner alone? Why does it have to be only with a friend?
Please write down the answers to all these questions. Most of the time, there is some underlying self-acceptance issue that makes you feel so void and lonely. You need to find the issue and work through it to accept yourself fully.
But if you don’t feel any negative emotion about being alone, just a bit bored, then spend some quality time with yourself. Indulge yourself in self-care. In my opinion, self-care is the most effective way to cut down on boredom. It also makes you feel loved and wanted. I have included some effective ways of self-care in my next point.
2. Engage In Self-care
Self-care is a broadly used term nowadays. But the term itself has a different meaning to each of us. As a writer, my self-care routine is writing something I have always wanted to write about. Ask yourself, “what does self-care mean to me?” Write down the question and your answer.
For your benefit, I am pointing out some effective ways of self-care. Go through the list below and find out the best self-care activity that goes with you.
- Stress-busting yoga.
- Indulging in skincare.
- Going to a spa.
- Take a hot shower.
- Watch a fun movie.
- Play your favorite video game.
- Make a wish list of things you would love to do solo.
- Read a good book.
- Cook something quick and delicious only for yourself (the best one).
- Take a refreshing walk.
- Do solo karaoke.
- Go out and eat.
- Watch something funny on YouTube.
- Take a nap.
- Start learning meditation.
- Dance by yourself to any music you like.
- Exercise to release happy hormones.
Remember to not pressurize yourself to do any of the above tasks. If you feel like you don’t have the energy to do anything, that’s fine. Just take a relaxing nap if that’s what suits you. Self-care should never be forced.
3. Socialize More
In my previous points, my goal was to make you accept the situation just as it is. In short, if you are without friends at the moment, then you should accept it and spend the time happily by being yourself.
Learning to be comfortable and happy in your own company doesn’t mean that you don’t need friends in your life. Good friends bring color and joy to life. But before finding friends, you should ask yourself, “what does friendship mean to me?” Please write down the answer along with the question. This way, it will be easy to evaluate yourself.
At this point, I would like to tell you that some people want other people to fill the void of their lives. They want other people to make them feel complete. I am afraid that’s not an effective way to build friendships or relationships.
No one can complete the void you feel unless you want to change it by yourself. That’s why it’s important to understand that the healthy reason for wanting to have company in life is the desire to share positive emotions. That’s what friendship is all about: sharing mutual emotions of love and partnership.
Now that you know what to look for in a friendship, what you need now is a good place to find friends. For that, you have to expand your network to find like-minded people. For example, if you are a reader, go to a local library or bookshop and start talking with the people there.
There are some social media apps to find friends. Some of them are great. You can use them if you don’t have any other option of socializing. But I would suggest you leave them for the moment and work your way without any virtual help to find friends. In that way, your skills for real communication will be boosted.
Tips On Building Lasting Friendships
Building friendships that last can be pretty difficult, but when you have the right trick up your sleeve, things become a lot easier. Below is a list of tips that will help you make connections that will last in the years to come!
Avoid Social Media For Finding Friends In Strangers
The biggest downside of using the internet to find friends is that you don’t have to work for it. It’s already there for you. This way may seem easier, but your communication skills suffer a lot when you find a hub of like-minded people readily at your disposal.
It gives you or others the power to keep or discard people as if they have a price tag on them. It creates an unhealthy sense of power in people. That’s why it’s not a good practice to build lifelong friendships. Please go out and find people by reaching out to them.
Be Warm And accepting
Have a positive attitude while finding friends. When you are accepting of people, people become accepting of you. Moreover, avoid getting attached to people for material things like beauty, wealth, or skill.
There is nothing wrong with being friends with people who have them all, but it is also not right to like them only because they have what you desire.
Don’t Take Your Friends For Granted
Taking friends for granted is a bad habit most people have. Many think of friends as a group of strong, supportive pillars that will hold on to them in their dark times. But people often forget that friends are humans too. Everyone should make their friends’ happiness a priority.
“I have no friends to hang out with” is a simple sentence that speaks volumes. Loneliness can be an unbearable feeling. But with the right attitude and interactions, you can easily make and keep more friends around you. I have tried my best to help you with my experience of people and friendships.
Now, it depends on how well you apply them in your daily interactions. Best of Luck!