Breakups are hard on their own, but when it comes to breaking up with a narcissist, it’s even harder. Even if you do end up breaking free from narcissists, there’s a good chance they’ll keep on trying to make you miserable. Especially if they see you with someone else. This is a price that you’ll have to pay for dating a narcissist in the first place!
From promising to get better to hoovering, there are several behaviors to expect from narcissists when they see you with someone else. They might even stalk you and try to sabotage your new relationship.
There are other ways a narcissist might react to seeing you with someone else. Here, I will be talking about some of the most common reactions you can expect and how you can deal with them. So, without further ado, let’s get right to it.
How Your Narcissist Ex Will React To Seeing You With Someone Else
It’s hard for narcissists to allow themselves to believe that you have moved on. To feed their ego they have to believe in the false narrative that you can’t get over them even after the breakup. And that’s why, if your narcissist ex bumps into you and sees you with someone else, she or he is most likely to not take it well.
Narcissists live under the impression that your partner before them was a mistake and any partner after them is a downgrade. They find comfort in thinking that the world revolves around them. That being said, they are most hurt when you evolve yourself to the place where they no longer exist.
As long as they get signals that you are still hung up on them, they feel a sense of self-importance. It provides them with a narcissistic supply that makes them feel happy and important. But as soon as they see you with someone else it drives them insane as you deprive them of their supply, they need to feel validated.
They will lean towards you when you are happy, especially if they’re looking for happiness in their own life. If they see you happy with someone else, their deeply rooted feeling of inadequacy triggers them. Thus, they feel jealous of you and keep looking out for ways to sabotage your happiness.
Jealousy and narcissism are a deadly combination. It’s hard for narcissists to fathom the fact that people are better off without them. As long as it fits their demands, they will try to win you over not because they intend to treat you better, but rather they miss manipulating and gaslighting you over and over again.
What Narcissists Might Do, Seeing Their Ex With Someone Else
All narcissists don’t act the same way when they see their ex-partner with someone else. However, the majority of narcissists feel bad having lost the attention and narcissist supply from their ex. Below is a list of behaviors you should expect from narcissists after they see you with someone else!
Once a narcissist spots you with someone else, s/he will call you out of the blue, demanding your attention. There’s a big chance they are curious about your partner and want to know the details about your relationship.
They might also call you to guilt-trip you for getting over them. But once you draw boundaries and call him out for their actions, they will paint you out as the villain.
Seeing you with someone else can trigger the jealousy of a narcissist. That’s why they might seem apologetic about their past actions so that they can persuade you saying that they are no longer the same person.
They will come up with an insincere apology and instead of taking ownership of their mistakes, they will shift the blame on you.
When narcissists see their ex-partner getting on with their life, chances are they will apply the infamous hoovering technique on them. It’s a type of emotional blackmail done by the narcissist to bring their ex back into their life.
To reel you back in, they might give you threats of self-harm, so you empathize with themselves and contemplate getting back to them.
Promising to get better
If non-stop persuasion and guilt-trip don’t pull you back to the narcissist, false promises will come into play. They promise to get therapy and do everything it takes to get you back.
They might promise to buy you expensive gifts or take you on a vacation, knowing full well that they would never keep the promises.
Be prepared ahead of time as your narcissist ex might show up at your door uninvited seeing you happy with your new partner. It’s easy to not pick up unwanted calls, but it’s even easier to plead in person. Narcissists seem to know it very well.
To lure you back into their life, they will look out for ways to stalk you and have a face-to-face conversation with you.
Sabotaging your new relationship
Once narcissists realize that there’s no way to get you back, they will try to sabotage your new relationship to practice their control over you.
To let you know how much they are hurt by your actions, they won’t mind going the extra mile to make you feel the same.
Pretending to be okay
Consider yourself lucky if your narcissist ex doesn’t chase you after seeing you with someone else. It only suggests that they are not dependent on you to fulfill their urge of controlling and manipulating.
Maybe they found a new supply to fill up the void inside them. They might also flaunt their new relationship in your face to make you feel jealous.
How To Deal with A Narcissist After Breakup?
When it comes to dealing with a narcissist, ignoring is the key. Block them from every platform to prevent themselves from spamming you. Remember why you broke up with them and realize they won’t change. Keep on reminding yourself why they are not worth your time.
If you ever face your narcissist ex or do feel the need to communicate with them, set boundaries and keep the conversation as brief as you can. Stay on the point and don’t let them gravitate from the subject.
If possible, try to communicate with them over texts and calls. Meeting them regularly in person defeats the purpose of breaking up with them. Reduce the number of face-to-face interactions down to a great deal.
If the hoovering and threats go out of control, contact the authorities right away. Know that if you don’t put an end to their hoovering, it will only ratchet up in the future.
Last but not the least, take care of yourself. The trauma from your past relationship with a narcissist can get in the way of you finding real love and connection. Seek therapy if needed to heal the wound from all the abuse you have tolerated. And, constantly remind yourself how brave you are for splitting up with the narcissist.
Narcissists thrive on controlling people. The very instant you will stop serving their purpose, or call them out on their behavior, they will discard you like an inanimate object. As a human being, you definitely deserve better than that.
Now that you’ve made it to the end of the article, I hope you have a proper understanding on what happens when the narcissist sees you with someone else. And I hope this will come in handy to some extent! Wishing you the best and thanks for stopping by.