Few things in life are more painful than finding out that the person you love has been unfaithful to you. This article will provide you with excellent tips that will help you continue with your life. These tips will be useful regardless of whether you are moving forward with your partner or not.
What should you do if you’re in love with a person who cheated?
Choose your path. This will be the hardest decision you have to make. Although it’s difficult, you must determine whether you want to continue with your partner or move on.
- If you choose to continue your relationship with your partner then you must learn to forgive. Forgiveness is essential for your relationship to be successful. You must also work to plan and create your future together. Talk about the things you can do to build trust in your relationship.
- If you choose to end a relationship with someone who cheated then you need to work at moving on. Concentrate on your personal goals. Fill your life with positive people that will support your decision.
How To Decide What To Do
Deciding whether you will stay with someone that’s cheated or not is not an easy decision to make. It can be even trickier when there are strong feelings involved and you perhaps:
- Share a home with your partner
- Have children together
- Have been together for a long time.
What’s more, it can be difficult to know what to do if you:
- Struggle emotionally and don’t do well on your own
- Have financial problems and can’t see how you would manage without your partner.
Are you unsure about if you should stick with an unfaithful partner? Then try analyzing your relationship according to the following factors:
Analyze Their Attitude
Before making any final decisions, start by analyzing your partner’s attitude. Ask yourself:
- Does my partner show remorse over their actions?
- Do they show they’re sorry or only say they are sorry?
- Are they making positive steps to prevent this from happening again?
Forgiving someone for cheating that isn’t truly repentant is futile. If they’re not repentant over their actions then they could easily end up hurting you again.
Analyze Their History
You should also consider just how long your partner has been unfaithful to you. This will make it easier for you to decide what to do. Ask yourself:
- Is this the first time my partner has been caught cheating?
- Was this a moment of weakness or something that was planned behind my back?
Take a step back and try to understand the whole story. Answering the above-mentioned questions in the form of a partner analysis will help you to do that. This honest review will allow you to detect if your partner has had an honest slip up that’s worth forgiving. If not, it will alert you that your partner is a repeat offender that should be ditched immediately.
You Choose To Continue The Relationship
Have you chosen to continue your relationship with someone that cheated? For your relationship to be successful there are many things that you should avoid doing. Consider a few of them:
- Avoid bringing up the past. Holding on to past errors will weaken a relationship. This includes constantly mentioning an incident and bringing it up in every argument.
- Resist the urge to have your partner on a leash. It isn’t healthy to obsess over where your partner is and who they are talking to at every given moment. Try not to be suspicious of your partner’s behavior.
So, what should you do to move forward and have a successful relationship?
- Leave the past in the past. Try your best to leave what happened behind you and move forward.
- Forgive. Forgiveness is the basis for building trust. Forgiveness will also help you to:
- Sleep better
- Reduce your anxiety levels
- Improve your mood
- Communicate. Talk to your partner about the things you will do in the day and who you will be with. This will make them more inclined to be open with you about what they will do. Knowing more about your partner’s schedule without obsessing over it will help you to relax.
Plan Your Future Together
Getting over the infidelity of your partner can be extremely difficult. One thing that will really help will be focusing on you and your partner’s futures. Doing so will stop you from fixating on the problems in your relationship. Instead, it will encourage you to work on them.
Planning your future with your partner will help them to feel included in your life. Planning your future together confirms that you will get through your issues together. It reassures your partner that you are willing to overlook problems and move forward.
Take a look at the following small life plans that you can discuss with your partner:
- Discuss your weekend plans. Decide where you would like to go and what you would like to do. If you are going to visit friends or family, do it together!
- Discuss your vacation plans. Vacating together is a great way for the two of you to unwind and draw closer together.
Take a look at the following long-term life plans that you can discuss with your partner:
- Discuss your life goals. Talk about the things that you would like to achieve with concerning your career. Find ways to make your partner feel included in those plans.
- Discuss your family goals. If you don’t already have children, talk about whether you would like to start a family and when. Discuss how many children you would like to have.
- Consider where you would like to live. Talk about the places you both like and find a happy medium.
Base Your Relationship On Trust
A relationship built on trust is like building a house with a solid foundation and strong bricks. No matter what life throws at you, you will be able to get through it. What about a relationship where both partners lie to one another? That relationship is like a house built with no foundation and with bricks made of sand. As soon as life stirs up a storm of problems it will be destroyed.
You must trust your partner if you want your relationship to be successful. But it could be hard for you to trust your partner again if they were unfaithful to you. What can you do to build that trust back?
Take a look at some great tips that will help you to build trust with your partner:
- Always answer honestly. If you and your partner vow to be honest with each other then the relationship will build more trust. Make time for honest and open communication and don’t give way to anger when you hear something you don’t like. Thank your partner for opening up with you, even when it’s difficult.
- Set limits on friendships with the opposite sex. Treat members of the opposite sex as you would like your partner to. Avoid unnecessarily spending time with someone of the opposite sex without your partner. Avoid flirting with anyone other than your partner.
- Spend time together socially. Of course, you don’t have to spend every waking moment together. But instead of often having exclusive girls/lads nights out, mix things up a little. Socialize with each other’s friends and family members.
- Share your feelings. If you don’t like the way your partner is treating a member of the opposite sex, tell them! Share your feelings about what you expect from your relationship. Talk to your partner frankly about where you would like to see your relationship five years from now.
- Be reasonable. Set reasonable expectations. Don’t expect too much too soon and take small steps.
- Admit your mistakes. Recognize where you go wrong in the relationship. Apologize if you have upset your partner.
You Choose To Move On
What if you have decided that you simply cannot forgive your partner? You are well within your rights to walk away from a relationship when one party has been unfaithful.
But what if you still have feelings for your ex? What can you do that will help you move on? There are many things that you should avoid doing when coming out of a relationship. Take a look at some of them:
- Jump straight into a new relationship. This may help you to get over the pain. But, if you are not emotionally ready for a new relationship then this will be a heavy burden for your new partner.
What happens if you start a new relationship without a “cooling off period”? You will be encouraged to make non-stop comparisons with your current partner and your ex.
- Continue contacting your ex. If your ex wants you to forgive them and continue with the relationship, it can be extremely difficult to let go. Spending unnecessary time with your ex will make it almost impossible for you to get over them.
- Remember only the good things. If you idealize the memories from your relationship then it will be difficult for you to move on.
So what can you do to make it easier to start a fresh chapter after ending a relationship? Here are a few tips:
- Be patient. Healing a broken heart takes time, just as it does with any wound. Don’t jump into a relationship with the first person that comes your way. Take the time to find out more about yourself. Think about the goals you would like to achieve in life. Patiently choose someone you think will help you achieve those goals.
- Don’t spend unnecessary time in contact with your ex. When you have to see your ex, keep your contact strictly professional. If you find it difficult to be professional, avoid meeting up with them alone.
- Take your mind off of your past relationship. Be active and spend time with friends that will help to distract you.
- When looking back on your relationship be conscious of the good and the bad. Remembering the bad things that happened will help you to be more determined to move on. This will also remind you of why you decided to end things in the first place.
Why is forgiveness so important for you to move on with your life? Forgiveness will help you to let go of feelings of resentment. Harboring resentment could make you a bitter person that is difficult to be around.
When you forgive, you help to improve your health. Check out the following health benefits that come with forgiving others:
- Reduced headaches and migraines.
- Lower blood pressure, anxiety levels, and stress.
- Improved mental health.
- Better heart health.
- Stronger immune system.
- Fewer symptoms of depression.
As you can see there are plenty of social benefits and health benefits that come with forgiving. But how can you forgive someone that’s cheated? Take a look at the following tips that will help:
- Don’t keep dwelling on what happened. Although it will be impossible for you to forget what has happened, you don’t need to think about it constantly.
- Create a feel-good music playlist. Put it on when you find negative thoughts creeping into your mind.
- Don’t become introverted. Don’t allow the situation to change your personality. If you loved going out before your relationship ended, continue to do so!
- Be the bigger person. Avoid insulting your partner via social media. We often end up regretting at a later date the things we say in haste. If you can end the relationship in an amicable way, you will feel proud of yourself.
Ending a relationship may be devastating. This is especially true if you still have feelings for your ex. There are many things you can do to avert your mind from dwelling on the past. One of them is becoming goal-oriented.
What kind of goals can you make? Here are a few suggestions:
- Put more effort into your work without becoming a workaholic. Think about how you can develop your career.
- Become a more social person. Concentrate on making new friends without forming a romantic relationship. A change of scenery is good and it is always enjoyable to meet new people.
- Keep active and set fitness goals. Staying active will help you to feel good. Who doesn’t love the feeling that comes with hitting your target weight and maintaining it? As you start getting closer to your weight goal you will feel more confident about yourself.
- Enjoy more time with your family. Spend your free time alongside the ones who care about you the most.
- Find out more about yourself. Experiment with different hobbies such as arts and crafts, gardening, singing, or dancing. You may just unlock an unknown passion of yours!
Prepare For a New Relationship
You may want to stay out of the dating game for a couple of months. But don’t leave it too long before you get back on the horse once more. The truth is, you will find love again so you should be prepared for that.
What can you do to get ready to start a new relationship? Here are a few suggestions:
- Find out what you want and need from a relationship. Only start a new relationship if the suiter ticks all the right boxes. Be demanding! Expect nothing but the best! If you like someone, find out a little bit more about them before jumping in with both feet first. Don’t start a relationship just to escape being alone.
- Work on trust. Remember that not all relationships will be like the one you had with your ex. Learn to trust people again and be honest with them. Start a relationship with honest, open communication and it will be successful.
- Experiment with new things and broaden your horizons! Becoming a more rounded person will make your next relationship more interesting.