After marriage, two people get to see the hidden sides of each other’s personalities. The annoying habits, flaws, and behaviors. Some people are seen to adjust and live with it. But besides that, some women are victims of disrespectful and belittling behavior from their husbands. But, what to do when your husband belittles you?
You should not overlook the belittling behavior. Instead, you must confront him. If you think he did not mean it, tell him how he has hurt you. If it becomes unbearable, draw a boundary and become distant from him. Try to prove him wrong about the perception he has of you.
Sometimes it becomes overwhelming and unbearable when the belittling keeps going on. It might hurt you mentally. In this article, I talk about all those things and give some tips to help you deal with your husband’s belittling attitude. So, keep on reading.
Harmful Effects of Disrespect in A Relationship
A common misconception is that only physical abuse is bad. But when a partner has a habit of disrespecting the other, there are likely to be some effects in their relationship, perhaps more than physical abuse.
The superiority one feels within themselves makes one naturally belittle and show a snobbish attitude, even with their spouses. Here are some effects of that in a relationship:
Lowering Self-Esteem and Rising Depression
A woman constantly disrespected by being treated as inferior will suffer from a lowered self-esteem. As she experiences the pain of being mocked under the guise of banter, it is natural to lose sincerity. Everything she will do in the relationship after that will either be forced or fake, as she feels violated and small. She might even feel depressed and think she is unworthy.
Men, in general, lose interest because of very unusual reasons. But, a woman does not lose it that easily. It is her sincerity and love in a relationship that holds everything together. If she loses her self-esteem, she will slowly lose her genuine interest. And that can cause the relationship to disintegrate.
Lesser Communication Between Spouses
Women love to communicate their concerns, whether it is happiness, sorrow, anger, or pain. Men are more like followers of the conversation initiated by the woman, especially after marriage. They go in with the flow.
Therefore, when there is a constant patronizing attitude in a relationship, a woman will stop initiating conversations. When she realizes she is looked down upon and belittled regularly, she shuts herself down. The more the pain builds up, the tension rises further. And so does the distance between the husband and wife.
Change in Awareness About Husband’s Needs
The awareness in a woman when it comes to their life partners is sincere in general. Women are called homemakers, who always make sure everyone at home is happy and fulfilled. It is the nature of a woman to be aware of her husband’s, child’s, or loved one’s needs.
However, when a woman starts to feel unwanted in a relationship, she will stop caring about her husband. The daily activities that need her concentration regarding her husband will not bother her as much. This could easily wreck a relationship as the husband with a condescending nature will point fingers at his wife’s lack of concern.
5 Tips on Dealing with A Husband That Belittles You
While adjusting to living in peace with a person, you should also know where to draw a boundary. If your partner is just like any other person, flawed, and has certain habits that are hard to change, then perhaps make adjustments. But if it is a matter of bad behavior, you should address it.
Here are some tips on how you can deal with your husband who belittles you:
1. Confront Him About His Behavior Towards You
Confront your husband when he keeps ridiculing you. Don’t keep quiet about it, otherwise, it will become worse. He is your husband, and he needs to know that he is hurting you or behaving a certain way that is disrespectful towards you.
If he has an ego and is ignorant about your feelings, the confrontation is even more essential. A man with an ego will never change his behavior but will make it worse. He might instead call you too emotional or irrational, not tolerant enough. Thus stand up for yourself.
But sometimes in good relationships, husbands make belittling remarks without the intention to hurt you. But when you do not protest, he does not realize it. Eventually, unconsciously, you two grow distant. If your connection with him is good, confronting should not be a problem. It might even stop the disrespect if he was doing those unintentionally.
The more you communicate, the more he will know what he is doing wrong.
2. Draw a Boundary and Become Distant
If it is a lost cause, and you know that your husband disrespects intentionally out of ego, become distant. Men do not think women back away from a relationship that easily, especially marriage. When you draw a line and make him realize you have had enough, it might make him realize as well that he has gone too far.
Let him know about the consequences of his behavior. Tell him you will not speak to him if he does not act right. Or you can tell him that you will leave him if he continues this condescending attitude.
This is also a way for you to determine how he manages to make it right. Seeing you upset about his behavior should push him to stop and win you over through respect. But if he does not do so, instead acts like you deserved the way you were treated, then you know he meant to hurt you.
3. Prove Him Wrong
Egoistic men feel like putting their partners down by behaving rudely and making them feel small. It gives them a sense of superiority. I know the behavior might lower your self-esteem and erase your will to be active about things in life. But it is your chance to prove him wrong about the perception he has of you that pushes his ego to look down at you.
He is your husband; he should not feel superior. Thus, try to elevate your self-esteem through self-love. Become so above his remarks and attitude towards you that he feels ashamed of how he treats you.
4. Treat Him the Same Way
Give him a taste of his own medicine. People who hurt or bully others, often fear being bullied themselves. Thus, treat him the way he treats you.
Although, chances are that your husband will turn the tables on you and say that you have disrespected him. Even then, do not stop until he realizes how he made you feel while he is in your shoes.
5. Consider Marriage Counseling
Sometimes getting professional help is the best possible thing to do. A marriage counselor can really dig up the issues you’re having in your relationship and guide you to a probable solution.
You can even go to a psychologist. But they might be a bit costlier. And your husband, like many people, might be reluctant to visit one. That’s why I recommend people take marriage counseling first.
Should You Consider Divorce?
If the intensity of your husband’s superiority complex increases, you must first communicate with him about it. See his reaction and acceptability of his mistakes. He should know about the mental stress he is causing you. If he does not apologize, neither makes his treatment towards you more respectful, then yes, you should consider divorce.
How can you be with somebody who does not pay mind to how his words and actions make you feel?
If you have children with him, they will grow up hearing your husband put you down with hurtful words. Children cannot grow up in a toxic environment. It is bad for their growth, and seeing you suffer hurts them as well. Your child might learn to become like your husband as you being quiet about bad treatment will make your child think that it is acceptable.
Let me remind you what to do when your husband belittles you. Stand up for yourself! When you want to stop any kind of wrong treatment, you have to always start by protesting. If you do not advocate about the actions that hurt you about your husband, then living with him will get tough. Don’t allow the wrong treatment. Do right by yourself.
I hope this article helps you to better your relationship with your partner, or at least with yourself. Thanks for stopping by and wishing you a happy life.