To most people, a family is considered their safe haven. But that is not necessarily true for everyone. Sometimes the relationship with our family can take a toll on our lives. But after they’ve stopped talking to their family, many wonder if it was the right decision to make. But how can you be sure whether it was? Don’t worry as I will address everything about your concern.
Whether it is the right decision to stop talking with your family will depend on the situation. It might not be too late for you and your family members to sort everything out. If so, it is only right to take the last shot to talk it out. But if your family members are a constant toxic presence in your life and it is already too late, it’s only right that you cut them off.
Breaking away from your family is a heavy decision and there is a lot at stake. So if you are considering this option, you need to consider all the options carefully. So I have included some scenarios when it is best to cut all ties with your family. I have also included why you should reconcile with your family or move on to help you reach the right decision.
Scenarios When Cutting Ties with Your Family is a Good Thing
A family should be our safe harbor, the people we can rely upon through all our thick and thin. The best scenario would be to have a great relationship with all our family members. But in many cases, such a scenario is not possible for us to achieve.
So no matter how much we try and hope things will work out, the bond we share with our family members can fall through. A few scenarios when you should consider cutting off all ties with your family are-
They are Overly Controlling
You might not have realized it, but it is never healthy to have parents overly involved in your affairs. We all have the right to some personal boundaries and it is extremely important for our mental health. If you have a parent or any family member who fails to respect it, the relationship is far from healthy.
Suppose you have a parent who likes to dictate everything and anything you should or shouldn’t do with your life. You might have a relative who gets angry if you want to have some space from them. There might also be a relative who keeps telling you all their problems over the phone and won’t let you hang up when you want to.
All these scenarios indicate that the family members don’t care about your personal space. If you realize that you have experienced such controlling behavior, you should distance yourself from them.
You Don’t Like Their Company
Holidays are said to be spent best in the company of your family members. But does it only feel like an obligation or a necessity rather than a time you look forward to? This uncomfortable feeling is not natural and is an indication that they are a toxic addition to your life.
If the time you are spending with your family ends up in endless drama and conflict, it means you people are not compatible with each other. Maybe it’s not the scenario we desire, but it’s best to keep your distance from them for the sake of your health.
You Feel like You Are Never Enough
Suppose you are extremely proud of yourself for the achievements you have accomplished recently and talk to your family about them. But instead of being happy for you and complimenting you, they find the tiniest bit of fault in your ways and undermine all of your accomplishments.
We never expect such treatments from our family members and it is quite frustrating to be treated like that. Only negative family members can behave like this. So it is best to live your life as you like away from them.
Your Feelings Never Matter
Whenever we are feeling down or need someone to help us through some difficult times, we expect our family to be there for us. But a toxic family member would do the exact opposite.
They don’t care about what you are feeling and are dismissive of it. Even if you are right, they will go on to prove how wrong you are just to make you feel bad.
Everything is Always Your Fault
We are all aware that no human being is perfect. So it is only natural that your family members might be in the wrong sometimes. But you might have noticed that no matter how many mistakes some of your family members make, they never realize it or apologize for it. Such behavior is a sign of immaturity and makes them blind to all their wrongdoings.
Instead of trying to realize their mistakes, they will push all their faults onto others. If they never tend to acknowledge that they are wrong, put aside their ego and ask for an apology, this is a sign that they are a negative influence on your life. You should let them go.
What Are the Consequences of Dragging Out Toxic Relationships?
Sometimes we may realize that our family is toxic but can’t cut off our ties. We think about doing it but can’t take any action to actually do it. Most of the time it is because we think family members are supposed to stay together. You might also be holding on to some hope that things will get better.
No matter what the reason is, the consequences we face for dragging out a toxic relationship are not great. Growing up in a dysfunctional family can lead you to face many problems in all of your future personal and professional relationships. The damage done to your mental health is most of the time unimaginable.
Many studies have found that kids who grow up in a toxic family environment get tangled in unhealthy relationships, frequently lose their jobs, and have much difficulty when they are growing up. They are also at higher risk for fatal heart attacks, cardiac events, and other health conditions.
Even if such toxic relationships don’t end up with you suffering from some major mental and physical issues, it is still frustrating and horrible. You may be feeling exhausted, stressed, and overwhelmed all the time. I believe no one deserves to feel like this.
Should You Reconcile With Your Family Members or Move On?
Sometimes you might reach a point when you have to decide whether you want to reconcile with your family members or move on. This is not a light decision and has a lot riding on it. So you should take a step back and think everything through carefully before you conclude. Make sure to consider all the things you may lose and gain from this decision.
Cutting ties completely with a family member is not easy. There might be a chance that they may change or you might miss them. If such a chance exists, you and the person should sit down and sort everything out. If you don’t, you might regret the decision for all your life. You could also give them some distance for the time being and have a conversation later on.
But if no such chance exists and they continue to be a negative influence in your life, it’s time you draw the final straw of your relationship. You deserve better and need to move on from such toxicity.
Not everyone is born into a picture-perfect family. If your family members are a constant toxic presence in your life, then it’s better that you’ve stopped talking to your family. But before you make any major decisions like this, take a moment to think about it.
Think about the things you’ll gain from this decision and also the things you’ll lose. Talk to your family members about your distress and give them a chance to make things right. Even after all of that, if you see no other way but to cut all ties, then so be it. Best of luck to you.