Self-confidence is essential for achieving daily and long-term goals. If you are feeling hopeless, aren’t proud of your looks, are having career problems, feel like you have little control over your life, scared of challenges, have little faith in your judgment then you are suffering from insecurity. So the question is, “How to build Self-Confidence?”
Developing confidence can be a demanding task. It’s a huge battle against your habits, your psychological weaknesses, and a tough social environment. You acquire it by working on your behavior and efficiency. You work on your habits and improve your health.
In this article, I will talk more about developing self-confidence and also provide some other miscellaneous information on the topic which will eventually help to understand it further.
How to Build Self Confidence?
By now it is obvious that confidence is an absolute necessity if someone wants to be truly happy. However, gaining confidence can be challenging. There are many possible ways to do it. A few effective methods will be talked about in detail.
Exercise and meditate: Exercising is probably the most reliable way to build self-confidence. When we exercise, our body releases endorphins which give our mind a pleasant feeling. Having a healthier body increases the chances of having a healthier mind.
Like exercising, meditating too can help us calm our mind. The purpose of meditation is to stabilize the mind. When the mind is in a harmonious state, gaining self-confidence becomes much easier. All the demoralizing thoughts are then swept away.
Do social work: Getting involved with work and doing it right is always a boost to confidence. Helping others can bring a pleasant feeling and doing your work right can make you feel more confident. The connections you make with others along the way can help you feel more secure too.
Get a Goal: Poor decision-making leads to a lack of confidence. It is more common when one has no goal to follow. A goal provides directions to follow in life. Knowing what directions to take will help one to make better decisions more frequently. Setting smaller goals to achieve a bigger one can give satisfaction to boost confidence in each step.
Getting a goal can be counterproductive if it isn’t a well planned or realistic one. When you have a goal, make sure it’s a smart one. Think about what you want to change in your life. Think about what you want to do long-term and how realistic your desires are. Do not give up early if they seem difficult. Assess the difficulties and visualize the path in your mind before you go out and do stuff.
Finding inspiration from yourself and others: If you are going through a rough patch, reviewing past success can help you regain your confidence. Repetition is easier than learning something from scratch. It is the same with feelings. If you have found success before then picturing the struggles you had to go through to get that will give you the confidence to take on new endeavors.
If that is not possible then you can always watch inspirational lectures and Ted Talk videos to get some inspiration. You’ll see that every successful person had to face adversities at some point in their lives.
Whether it be personal, professional, or economic everyone has to go through some trials and tribulations of life. Listening to how they stuck to their dreams and pushed forward to achieve their dreams will sure give you the confidence to move forward.
Try to learn from every experience: Not every experience in your life will leave you with a positive after-taste. Often these bad experiences though can teach you more than a good one. If you grow the mentality to learn from every mistake you make or every loss you suffer, then you won’t be afraid of failing anymore. You can take on new challenges much more confidently. Because whatever happens, you’ll at least learn something from it.
This is a mentality many successful people keep. You see, life is not that easy. Of course, you are going to fail over and over again. That’s just how things work. But keeping the mentality to learn and not just succeed will keep you feeling confident while taking on new projects.
Eat Healthy and dress up: A sound mind lives in a sound body. We’ve all heard that phrase at least once in our lives. And it is definitely true. Eating healthy will allow you to keep you calm during high-pressure situations, which will make you seem confident. Also, when people are happy with their diet and body, they feel better about themselves. This self-appreciation can also build self-confidence.
Try new things: Trying new things can help you come out of your comfort zone. When you do things you aren’t used to, you learn something new. Your fear of change is slowly gone. You find it more comfortable to explore more possibilities for yourself.
Believe in yourself: Believing in yourself is fundamental to gaining self-confidence. If you feel that you are capable of doing great things, then you will definitely become a more confident individual. You have to reduce the amount of influence other people can have on your decisions. Believing in yourself makes you more positive, more attractive, and more confident. It also makes you feel that you have authority over your life.
Build good habits: Good habits also help people feel better about themselves. This is beneficial to their self-esteem and self-confidence. Being punctual, proactive, and resilient can help one do better in their everyday tasks. Sleeping in time and waking up early in the morning is beneficial for both health and everyday activity. These habits can raise confidence.
Smiling more often is the kind of habit that exerts confidence. It makes you feel good and also others around you. People are suddenly more affectionate towards you and that definitely boosts your self-esteem. Smiling more gives others the signal that you are a balanced person. It makes you seem more dependable and reliable. They suddenly treat you with respect and admiration which boosts your sense of self-worth.
Appearing confident: Confidence is an internal existence. However, one of the biggest advantages of confidence is how it can change your appearance outside. And it goes the other way around as well.
If you don’t have much self-confidence, you can at least try acting like you have it. This will make others believe that you know what you are doing. You will suddenly get more opportunities in the workplace just because of the positive vibes you exert. This will eventually prove your own self-worth to you, and you won’t have to fake it any longer.
Why Do You Need Self Confidence?
Self-confidence is a wonderful feeling. It helps you excel in life at various things. The difficulty of a job seems less than before. Failures in life become easier to overcome. It increases focus in the areas of inefficiency. It raises self-esteem and makes people feel better about themselves. Furthermore, it provides a push in a person’s mind to improve. Communication skills also improve when one is confident.
It matters in almost every aspect of our lives. Confident people inspire others. They reassure others. We are social beings. We need social recognition as well as skills to succeed. Self-confidence can get us this social recognition.
If one lacks self-esteem, then that person is heavily influenced by pessimism. That itself becomes a constant source of sorrow in their life. People low on confidence find it hard to be satisfied with themselves. Simple work becomes challenging when you do not have confidence.
When the brain is filled with positive emotions, it functions much better in most aspects. Confidence can be a source of calmness for the mind. It can help the mind be more attentive, more aware, and remember things much better. In other words, the brain can perform in a much more efficient manner. This leads to a higher success rate in work and other activities.
Self-confidence can make someone more productive. It leads to a better mindset for decision-making. People are more productive when they are making good decisions. It improves communication with other people and attracts them towards each other. It boosts the performance of our professional lives and helps people dream big.
Studies show that confident people tend to be more healthy than people who lack confidence. Confidence, happiness, these sorts of good emotions release dopamine, which is a feel-good hormone. It lowers blood pressure and helps avoid mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, etc.
Confident people look forward to the future instead of being afraid of it. This allows them to take on new challenges in life without the fear of failure. Confident people even in failure are sure of their capabilities and worth. So, they always have the energy to just do more until they succeed.
So, we can say that no matter who you are or where you are from self-confidence is definitely an important aspect of life, and we should try our utmost best to maintain it.
Causes and Signs of Insecurity
Everyone wants to be self-confident and the benefits it can bring. But wanting to be confident might not be enough. A lack of confidence can have many reasons behind it. People first need to identify whether they have a problem or not. They can then identify how and why it exists. Only then can the solution work for them.
People tend to live in denial. They aren’t always honest about their problems. Sometimes they will suffer due to a problem, but will never acknowledge it. But specific habits and gestures give it away. Understanding one’s own habits and gestures helps one to identify whether they lack confidence or not.
Learning about the causes and signs of insecurity can help one understand if he needs to take action to become more self-confident. So, here I’ll be talking about them.
Causes of insecurity
Most people are insecure about something. This is something they might not want to admit. But it is inevitable. As long as people have dissatisfaction, they will have a source of insecurity. The scale of insecurity can be big or small.
Fear of Failure
People can be scared of failure. This is the biggest source of insecurity for most people. The fear of bad decisions, previous failures, consequences of failure, and whatnot can have people feel very insecure. People might compare themselves with others and live according to other people’s standards. This also leads to insecurity, as people can feel incompetent or out of place.
People who feel unwanted or unloved may feel insecure about it. Tragic experiences can also lead to lifelong insecurities. It’s been proven that people with past abuse are more likely to suffer from a lack of self-worth.
Negative relations with people can lead to insecurity as well. Not getting along with family members or being in a troubled relationship can lead to insecurity. It generally starts from not being appreciated as much. This makes people feel like they are not worthy of love and affection or not capable of receiving it, making them insecure.
Lack of results in workplace
Lack of results in work can demotivate people. Failure at the workplace can kill motivation, and a lack of motivation can make people feel insecure about their future. As time goes on, this insecurity digs deeper into their minds, and they suddenly lose all hope to ever make a change in their lives.
Signs of insecurity
If you are wondering whether you are suffering from a lack of self-esteem, then there are a few tell-tale signs that you can look out for.
Anxiety is one of the most important signs of low confidence. Uncertainty can be a source of anxiousness and as such insecurity arises. Similarly, being socially withdrawn can be an indication of someone being insecure. A lack of confidence can be the very reason you are running away from society.
Can’t accept a compliment
Insecure people have a hard time accepting compliments. They are more sensitive to their potential flaws more than anyone else. That can turn out to be overbearing. They have doubts about other people’s compliments. So, they react awkwardly when they actually receive any. If you have similar habits, you are very likely suffering from insecurity.
No sense of self worth
If you do not trust your judgment, then you lack confidence. If you feel you have a lack of talent, then you are probably insecure about it. In such situations, you probably act indifferent towards life. If you neglect yourself and run away from challenges, then it just might be the case that you are insecure about your potential. Confidence can help you a lot in such a position.
Worrying over other people’s comments
If you worry too much about what people think, then that can be a clear indication of insecurity. The lack of confidence that stems from worrying about other people’s comments can be especially harmful in our social, personal, and occupational lives.
This is because whoever you are or wherever you are from, there will always be someone who doesn’t like you. And we have to deal with it and understand that other people’s perception of ourselves does not define us. But insecure people have a hard time understanding that.
Aggressive during arguments
How you behave during arguments can also indicate how much self-worth or confidence you have. If you take arguments personally and get angry or cause a scene whenever someone disagrees with you, then it can be because you are insecure. You want to prove your value to yourself so much that you become violent when losing in a conversation.
But confident people are not like that. Even in an argument, they are calm and collected. They understand that just by losing an argument, they don’t suddenly become dumber. In fact, they become smarter. Because now they have an understanding they didn’t have before.
Constantly blaming others
If you blame others or make excuses, then you are probably too afraid to acknowledge your mistakes. Such a mindset is a sign of insecurity. You do not feel confident enough in yourself to realize that mistakes should not take anything away from your understanding of self-worth.
In such a case, you worry about how other people see your mistakes as your weakness. So, you blame others for your misfortune to avoid the blame.
How to Appear More Confident?
Body language is one of the first things other people might notice about you. For example, people who talk while lowering their heads appear to lack confidence. People who keep a confident posture can assure other people that they are confident.
Even if you are not that self-confident, just showing that you are can be beneficial as well. Not only will it make you seem more reliable in a work environment, but also people’s reliant reaction to your confident act can eventually make you truly self-confident. So, it’s kind of a fake it till you make it situation. So, here are some tips on appearing self-confident:
Have a confident body posture
Adopting a confident posture comes first. Poor posture makes one look unsure. Hold your head up high. Make sure you are standing straight. When you are talking to someone, make sure your body is directly facing theirs. Establish control with your body language, and everything else will automatically look easier.
Do not show nervousness
Stop displaying habits that show nervousness. Stop wringing your hands or moving your feet for no reason. Tapping your fingers can also display signs of nervousness. This sort of activity might temporarily deal with nervousness, but it makes you look uncomfortable. Take a deep breath and relax in such situations. Make sure to not let your bad habits take over.
Folding your hands or hiding your hands in your pocket also displays signs of nervousness. If you are unsure of what to do with your hands, try some free-flowing gestures. Make sure you exude power whenever you are talking. Do not stand with your hands on your hips. Do not overdo it and make people uncomfortable. The key point is to avoid signs of nervousness.
Make a good first impression
Making a good first impression is necessary too. Engage with people face to face. Make eye contact. Make sure to shake hands properly. Be careful about your facial expressions at all times. Practice improving your tone of speech. In terms of content, words are important. Identify the right ones.
Are the people who appear confident truly always confident? The answer is no. But projecting a calm and confident version of yourself is helpful anyway. The key is your body language, your facial expressions, and your general behavior. Do not overdo your act and come out awkward or too dominant. Try to make a confident appearance natural for you.
How Can Self Confidence Affect Behavior?
Confidence can greatly affect your behavior and mental state. Self-confident people are generally less stressed out than people who are not, for example. The performance of your everyday activity improves drastically. You stop running away from challenges and face them head-on.
Believing in yourself and not having the fear of failure allow people to take on risks, which is a must for achieving any sort of success. Usually, it’s the confidence that propels us from the safety of an average life towards success.
People have improved decision-making when they are confident. As a result, they waste less amount of time, find more amount of free time, and bounce back from failures quicker. They can think clearly and make logical decisions without considering how they’ll be portrayed for them.
Self-confident people are usually much happier than their insecure counterparts. They do what makes them happy. Not what proves their value. They make their own values and their own happiness. You can see a lot of self-confident people leaving the comfort of a high paying job and going for personal endeavors and adventures. They start their own company, travel the world and so many other exciting things only because they didn’t need society or a corporate boss to tell them how much they are valued. They already know it.
What is the Science Behind Self Confidence?
One of the aspects that determine how confident a person can be is the genes that the person carries. The neurochemicals of one’s brain can control the confidence one feels. The surrounding environment is also responsible for how confident you are as well. These things aren’t within one’s control, but what you do to change yourself can make a difference.
Our brains are made of neurons that communicate through synapses. We are creating and adjusting our synapses all the time. Every new experience or lesson can bring change to how our brain operates. The choice we make can shape us. Eventually, they become a part of who we are. So, practicing confidence can help us be confident on an internal level.
When we feel confident, our brain acts in a way that makes us feel good. We are attracted to this sort of feeling and behavior. We want to emulate what makes us feel good. Furthermore, we engage more in the process. That is why I’ve mentioned before that if you don’t have much self-confidence, try to fake it.
The more you fake it, the more your brain will be used to the positive aspects and social benefits of being a secured individual. So, eventually, you will train your psyche to be more confident. It is a subconscious trait that you can consciously train yourself to adapt.
What are Good Books on Self Confidence?
There is so much to say about self-confidence. It isn’t possible to cover everything in this article. So, if you are still looking for more discussion on this topic, you can check out these 7 books mentioned below. The books mentioned aren’t ranked in order. All of them are fantastic and offer a lot to think about when it comes to this topic.
- Unstoppable Confidence by Kent Sayre
- You are a Badass by Jen Sincero
- Feel The Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers
- How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie
- The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris
- The Power of Self-Confidence by Brian Tracy
- The Art of Extraordinary Confidence by Aziz Gazipura
Motivation is an excellent source of self-confidence. If these books don’t spark your interest, then you can check out our article “best motivational books of all time?” that can give you the motivation to get back at life.
Self Confidence can be a hard thing to acquire. It depends on so many factors. It can make such a great difference in your personal and professional life.
I sincerely hope that this article was able to guide the reader properly on how to build self-confidence. Make sure to avoid overconfidence, as that can introduce a lot of other problems as well.