Why Do Men Act like They Don’t Care After a Breakup? (5 Reasons)

You’ve been dating your high school sweetheart for a while. But after those years of wild rides, messy arguments, and sob sessions, the two of you finally decide to part ways for the betterment of both individuals. Now that the two of you are no longer together, your ex-partner acts as if he has no single care in the world. So why does he act like he doesn’t even care?

In most cases, men feel a deep sense of remorse about the whole meltdown. Maybe there was something he was hiding or maybe the truth is just too much for him to take. He’ll try to protect himself by creating a bubble where he doesn’t need to care or provide his two cents. That’s why many men act like they don’t care after a break up when they really do.

Now that we have an idea of what might be going through his head, let’s look at some in-depth analysis on why do men act like they don’t care after a breakup?

Why Men Act Like They Don’t Care After a Breakup?

I’ve talked briefly about why men act like they are emotionless after a break up. But now let’s take an even deeper look at all the reasons why they do it.

1. Overwhelming Feelings of Remorse

Just like any other woman, you’ll find yourself asking this question: why doesn’t your ex-significant other care about the whole breakup. It’s an important thought to have and you shouldn’t feel bad about your emotions

But you should be aware that there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for this whole outcome. So instead of feeling worse about yourself, pay more heed to the reasons why he’s acting so distant and carefree after the whole showdown.

The most perfectly understandable reason is the fact that he feels guilty. That sense of guilt can drive any man insane. In this case, drive him away from anything that reminds him of the whole relationship. The guilt may be a result of how he treated you while the two of you were still in the relationship.

If the breakup was rather messy, chances are that both of you have a negative perspective of one another. In such cases, both parties will try to avoid one another and act like they don’t care about the whole situation.

2. Facing His Ex-Partner Might Be Too Painful

Let’s face it! We would all want to avoid our exes after a breakup. This has nothing to do with how much they care or used to care. At times, it’s just easier to avoid the whole of that person rather than dig through recent wounds.

This happens because your ex already feels bad about the whole situation. So if he were to revisit the whole situation, he would just be feeling worse about the entire thing and his whole existence. And this in turn would negatively affect his mental health.

If the breakup was his idea, he’d feel bad for hurting you or even breaking your heart. It might seem like an act of cowardice if he pretends not to care but in this sense, he’s also protecting his own feelings. And self-love comes above all.

As a result, even if he does care and wants to check up on you, he’ll be obligated to put on a poker face and act like he doesn’t care in order to conserve the remaining bits of sanity that he has intact. Sounds cruel, but that’s the way emotions work.

3. Wants to Leave His Old Life Behind ASAP

We should understand that everyone needs a fresh start; whether it’s from a breakup, a job loss, or even after failing that Mortal Kombat stage. We need a clear space to think things through so that there is now less room for error than before.

Your ex-lover might tell you that he still cares about you even after the breakup when in fact, he’s just putting it out there to clear his conscience so that they have a better perception of themselves. He wants to come across as a good human being but that doesn’t mean that he still cares about you.

He just wants to get closure and then leave this old life behind so that he can painlessly transition to being single and without worries.

4. He’s More Worried About Himself

This does sound very selfish but we need to realize that self-love comes above all. Sure, the breakup might’ve been traumatizing for both of you. That is exactly why the two of you need time away from each other to heal. Thus, it’s only natural that he prefers to only worry about himself. It’s only his life that he has control over; not yours.

As a result, he might act as the breakup never even happened in the first place or that he has nothing to do with this matter and move forward with his life. He might even put all the blame on you or other factors that are external to the cause.

When you look at this from a 3rd person perspective, sure, it makes him look very selfish and others will point out that he doesn’t really care about the relationship. As such, even if you’re hurt by his actions, he’s not at any stage to care about the whole situation.

This demeanor may seem cold and even cruel to everyone but his disinterest in you or the whole breakup has nothing to do with you. He might care to some extent but that’s only of what others might think of him. His essential and primary focus will be on himself.

5. He Has a Lot to Hide

Even if the two of you had agreed to be truthful to one another throughout the whole relationship, there are things that the both of you had kept secret from one another. It might’ve been things related to your family that you never felt the need to disclose.

But along the road, some of those secrets got intertwined with your relationship and affected it negatively. Not two parted ways, you refuse to look back or even care about the relationship as you might need to come clean and tell your ex-partner of the secrets that you had kept hidden.

It can also be that your ex has some bitter or hidden feelings about the whole breakup and doesn’t want to let you in or anything else for that matter to know about his hidden emotions. He might be hurting from within and is aware of how poorly he treated you during the relationship but that doesn’t mean he cares about the breakup. He just has a lot to hide.

These hidden emotions and regrets will further result in him distancing himself. He might even feel that if he chooses to stay in touch or even make you believe that he cares about the breakup, it would just result in you getting lead on; thinking that there might be a chance of the two of you getting back together.

How Cope with the Feeling That He Doesn’t Care?

Well first of all, why should you care? If the relationship has totally ended then I’m not sure if you should dwell on your ex and just try to move on. Meet new people and find new love.

On the chance that you can control your own emotions, my advice would be to talk to a friend. There is nothing better than a shoulder to cry on after a fresh breakup. You can also try indulging yourself in hobbies so that you don’t think of him anymore. That has always worked for me.

As I’ve said before, most men are just socially bred to suppress their emotions and it is normal for him to act tough. If this break up thing has hurt you then the chances are he feels the same as well. And even if he doesn’t, it’s not worth investing your time and emotion behind a person who is now nothing more than just a hiccup in your past.


I know this hurts and it will continue to hurt for a while but after some time, you’ll find a way out of it. As for the men who don’t care; they choose to do what’s best for them. There is no point in villainizing them for taking part in self-care. That’s the hardest for any of us to pull.

Thus, not caring about the breakup doesn’t make them horrible people. Selfish? Yes; but not horrible. I hope this article was able to answer ‘why do men act like they don’t care after a breakup’. Hope this will help you in your personal time. Have a great day!

Related Posts