Many people grow up feeling that they have been born into the wrong family and cannot understand why they feel this way. They feel different and have nothing in common with any of their family members. In fact, the rest of the family is happy to be together and enjoy each other’s company, but, for some reason, they feel alienated from the family group.
There are many reasons why you feel no connection to your family, leading to feelings of isolation and alienation. We have listed four possible reasons why.
- Past experiences
- The company that you keep
- Family chemistry and relationships
- Personal crises
Some people find it stressful to try to fit into the family unit and do everything they can to escape the family home. People who don’t enjoy their family members and perhaps even feel no love for them are happy to leave home without looking back. For others, being excluded emotionally and physically is devastating to their health and emotional wellbeing, and they cannot understand why they feel no connection to their family. Let’s talk about a few of the reasons why you feel no connection to your family.
4 Reasons Why You Feel No Connection To Your Family
There are many people who feel detached or alienated from their family and friends. Feeling disconnected from those around you can lead to negative emotions and a true sense of being left out or even abandoned.
These are some of the possible reasons why you feel disconnected from your family.
1. Past Experiences
Many of us suffer from unresolved childhood trauma. Perhaps you were bullied at school or were involved in a toxic relationship. Maybe your parents or an adult in the family abused you mentally or physically. All of these experiences, if not dealt with, can result in us withdrawing from everyday life and the family unit.
We isolate ourselves from a hostile world to protect ourselves. But, the more we separate ourselves, the harder it becomes to step out into the world and connect with others again, leading to a complete detachment from real life.
2. The Company That You Keep
Being involved with the wrong crowd is a concern for almost every parent, no matter their child’s age. But, sometimes, parents are correct as the crowd you hang out with could shape who you are if you allow them to.
Even if you think you enjoy hanging out with your crowd, perhaps deep down, you know that they are not the right people for you but don’t know how to break free from their influence. Being around negative, toxic people could result in your feelings of being misunderstood and could cause you to stay away from your family members to avoid their judgment or help.
3. Family Chemistry And Relationships
While some people automatically click with their family members, others just don’t get on with anyone in the group! All you can see are the differences between you and your family, with no apparent similarities.
This causes you to feel an emotional detachment from your family, even if it’s not apparent to anyone else. Feelings of being misunderstood and of being alone become more intense the more you disconnect from others
A lack of emotional support from parents can cause feelings of loneliness and sadness while you are growing up. These feelings can carry over into adulthood, causing you to feel disengaged and distanced from the rest of the family.
Unresolved childhood feelings and perceptions, even if they are biased in our favor, can cause emotional detachment problems later in life.
4. Personal Crisis
We all travel through many different stages in our lives. Times of personal growth are different for everyone, but each stage can be more painful than the last for some. Sometimes, feeling disconnected from our families or even from reality can hamper our growth, and we may need help from a counselor.
Mental health problems can cause deep feelings of alienation from your family members. Feeling different or separate from everyone else can be caused by anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorders, and even schizophrenia.
Job crises and poor work performance, addictions, and disorders can all affect your wellness and well-being, causing you to isolate further from loved ones who you feel don’t understand you or don’t like you!
Weak Family Bonds: A Modern Trend
Modern times have created issues never before experienced by families. With the introduction of the internet and worldwide instant access to just about anything, family bonds and relationships have become victims of modern-day living.
Most families are too busy to enjoy any kind of downtime together as a family unit. In addition, children are more active and involved in more extra-curricular activities than ever before. As a result, parents have more pressure to provide than ever before, leaving no time for parents or children to hang out with friends and family.
Family bonding time is as essential in the modern age as it was in our grandparent’s time. By interacting with each other, each family member learns to love and respect each other and how the dynamics of society work. When family time is non-existent, feelings of abandonment and isolation set in.
Letting Your Family Know How You Feel
Society norms are that family members should accept each other for who they are. Of course, we would all like to live this way, but it is not always possible, and we often feel misunderstood by those we love the most.
Speaking about how you feel in certain instances is a great way to break down the barriers of misunderstanding. For many people, family bonding does not come easily but does require the full participation of all family members when you are trying to rebuild your relationships. Communication is vital in any family relationships.
By telling them how you feel and how isolated you are, you are opening the doors to a better, happier life with people who do care about you. Schedule a time to talk with them without any interruptions. If you find it hard to talk to them face to face, try writing a letter to the family member that you feel the closest to and see what happens!
Working On A solution
The only way to move on from feelings of alienation and isolation is to work on them. But, unfortunately, this is one of those crucial times when the only one who can do anything about this situation is you – with a little help from your family if you allow them!
Try these steps to connect to your family members:
- Schedule time to sit and chat together
- Unplug from technology
- Greet your family every day
- Focus on things that you have in common
- Smile more!
- Eat meals together
- Plan fun outings together
Spending vital quality time with your family is really the only way to stop feeling isolated, detached, and alone. Even if you feel that you have nothing in common with your family, they are your family and will love you no matter what.
You can be in charge of your progress, so arrange a schedule that suits your needs. Take small steps but work towards your recovery and reintegration every day. Being connected to a group of people that you enjoy being with is vital for your health and state of mind.
If you cannot cope with renewing family relationships, seek help from a good counselor.