Whether you are in a relationship with an introvert or you call one of them your best friend, gaining an introvert’s forgiveness is a tricky matter. This is especially true the bigger the ‘crime’.
Introverts deal with heartbreak and betrayal differently compared to extroverts. While an extrovert would talk about their feelings and what they are going through openly, an introvert might keep it all to themselves. If you aren’t careful enough, your introvert friend/spouse might make a decision not to be with you anymore, and you won’t even see that coming.
Of course, things aren’t all doom and gloom when it comes to introverts and forgiveness. Introverts do listen to reason, and as long as they feel loved, appreciated and cared for, things can be sorted out. Don’t expect them to tell you what bothers them, because, according to them, you should already know.
Getting an introvert to forgive you depends on what you said or did, and how it made them feel. An introvert will take privacy, self-care, and loyalty very seriously, so there are occasions when their trust can only be won back through hard and consistent work. Persistence is key here.
However, if you want instant forgiveness, then don’t play with their emotions. Be open and honest about what you want (even if you think they won’t like the answer). They will appreciate it way more than you lying to them just to get into their good books.
Be careful, because an introvert will shut you out completely if you hurt them bad. They are good at reading people, and because they find it hard already to let people in, to them, this is a major blow. It affects their self-esteem, as well as their already biased view of the world. By betraying them, you kind of confirm what they already know: that nobody can be trusted, not even their closest allies. This can easily lead to heartache on both ends if you aren’t careful enough. If the dead is already done, then try to make up for it by multiplying your efforts in showing your introverted friend/spouse how much you care for them.
Do Introverts Get Angry Easily?
Introverts don’t get angry easily, but even when they do, they tend to keep it to themselves and to their journals. To them, showing any sign of anger is also a sign of weakness and a pointless exercise. According to an introvert, being angry and expressing that anger doesn’t solve anything. All it does is create more anger and conflict, which they would avoid at any cost.
Introverts don’t deal well with anger directed at them, either. They try to get out of any sort of conflict unscared, so, depending on the issue, they will try to distance themselves from it, occasionally nodding or saying sorry, but not really taking in what the other person says (or shouts).
This helps most introverts stay in their ‘happy place’. If they can ignore something that’s happening around them, then it’s not happening at all. This is especially true if an introvert is angered (or in better terms, frustrated) by what happens during a social gathering. This is rare, of course, because they tend to avoid those, too. Although mostly it isn’t easy for an introvert to mingle in the crowd, in this case, they are the quickest ones to disappear.
As a friend or spouse of an introvert, this can cause many issues. Miscommunication, misunderstandings, low self-esteem, to name a few. It isn’t easy to help an introvert open up about what annoys, frustrates and makes them angry, but getting them to write you a letter about it might be a good way to start. It might sound old school, but for an introvert it’s easier to put it all in writing than say it out loud.
In a way they can even pretend you never saw it afterward, as long as you honor their privacy and don’t mention the matter, all should be well (unless of course there is professional help needed to solve the problem, but that’s an entirely different matter).
Are Introverts More Sensitive?
Introverts are highly sensitive to certain things. This could be anything seemingly small and unexpected that causes them discomfort and interrupts their routine, making them feel like they lost control of their surroundings (loud noises, annoying habits, nasty smells), or, on the contrary, something big that happens to something they care about deeply.
Introverts can feel deeply for everything and everyone, and they often root for major causes like cancer research or saving abandoned animals. They value their goals and the missions that are close to their hearts, and they simply can’t stand injustice of any kind, whether it’s done to them or others.
Because of their highly sensitive nature, introverts are great at showcasing empathy, but they can at times be overwhelmed by their need to help people. They tend to get exhausted quite often, because they constantly feel like the weight of the world is on their shoulders. And, in a way it is.
When talking to an introvert, it’s worth taking into consideration that they are sensitive beings, and although everyone is, they handle things differently.
Do Introverts Forgive?
When your introverted friend/spouse feels hurt by you, no matter the seriousness of the issue, they need some time alone to process things. They have their own demons to fight and decide whether they can forgive you or not.
It sounds harsh, but to them, a betrayal of their trust in any shape or form is a serious crime that cannot be forgiven. Of course, everyone is different, and there are circumstances when the waiting time can be shortened, but you need to let your introvert friend come to you. Instead of asking them for forgiveness on a constant basis, reassure them that you didn’t mean to hurt them.
With time, the wounds might fade and they should come out of their shells. Remember that they prefer to be on their own under the best circumstances, but right now, they absolutely must be on their own to make sense of it all.
How Do You Cheer Up an Introvert?
Introverts are set in their ways, and once they made their mind up about you, it’s extremely hard to convince them otherwise, especially if you did something they didn’t like. Try to have some patience with them, because they are awesome people, even if slightly misunderstood. Here are a few tips on how to help them accept you after an argument:
- Wait before you answer
Your natural instinct will be to react to whatever they say because you are glad they talked to you in the first place (sometimes introverts refrain from doing so, creating a distance). Our advice is to wait a little bit while keeping eye contact. Once you are sure they finished talking, then say your piece – as long as it is relevant to what they said. Introvert takes their conversations very seriously, purely because they don’t like talking about mundane stuff. So, if they are talking to you, they have put a lot of effort into it. Show them you care.
- Repeat what they said
Occasionally refer to what they said earlier in the conversation. This will help your introverted friend in knowing that you are listening to them and their efforts aren’t wasted. It also reassures them that they can count on you and trust you with the important stuff.
- Don’t force talking
When you are talking to an introvert, expect times when neither of you speaks, but that’s okay. The silence is supposed to be comfortable though. Introverts don’t like talking just for the sake of it, and won’t say anything unless they have something important to say. If you honor that, they will respect you for it.
Conclusion
Introverts don’t normally show their feelings, and that’s true for their anger, too. Luckily it isn’t easy to anger or upset them, but they can’t stand cheating, a lack of morals or people betraying their trust in general. Constantly changing your mind about how you feel about them isn’t a good way to go, either. Introverts want to feel valued and appreciated, so, if you can’t give them that, at least be honest about it instead of leading them on. They will appreciate it more than you lying to them.
