How Do I Stop Fighting With Myself in My Head?

In this day and age, mental health struggles are more than just a casual consequence of being alive. The stress of balancing a career, friendships, and love life can lead anyone to a point of self-sabotage. If you have been feeling scattered or anxious lately, you may be wondering, how do I stop fighting with myself? 

Fighting with yourself is a sure sign that your mind is in a current position of restlessness. You are likely amid a dilemma or for any reason are dealing with anxiety. The best way to stop fighting with yourself is to get to the root of the issue and resolve whatever it is that is making you feel anxious or unsettled. 

Amidst all the reasons to stress or panic, the surest way of survival is to be at peace with one’s self. Though this process is not easy or the same for everyone, there are certain practices and mindsets you can adopt to help yourself achieve mental peace. In this article, I shall be talking about a few such things that might help you feel more at ease with yourself.

What Makes People Fight With Themselves?

Have you ever experienced days where you find yourself overwhelmed by stress and end up taking it out on a friend or loved one? Having too many thoughts asking for attention at once can lead someone to become short-tempered and irritated. It is because of these feelings that during stressful times, people form a tendency to snap at anyone coming in their way. 

The issue of someone fighting with themselves is no different. Self-criticism and contradiction occur most frequently when people are not at ease with themselves. Whether it be because of insecurity or paranoia about one’s own worth, the rise of anxious feelings within you is what is causing you to feel irritated with yourself.  

Head vs Heart

One primary reason why you are fighting with yourself might be because you are caught up in a dilemma. This could come in a form that is obvious and upfront. For instance, you may currently be stuck choosing what university to go to or which job field to enter. The inability to make a decision can lead to you having debates with yourself in your head. 

A less upfront issue may come in the form of a battle between the head and the heart. For example, you could currently be in a stable and well-paying job but the job itself isn’t something you enjoy. Being in a situation that on paper guarantees happiness but doesn’t follow through, in reality, could be a potential cause behind you arguing with yourself.  

Stress and Anxiety

Another cause for you fighting with yourself could be anxiety. Anxiety is a feeling of nervousness you feel due to the body’s release of adrenaline. It is normal to feel anxious if you are in a situation that warrants feeling nervous. However, it is not uncommon to occasionally feel anxious without having a proper reason to. 

Generalized anxiety is one of the most common mental illnesses today. Several people around the world suffer from symptoms of generalized anxiety without ever being properly diagnosed. One such symptom is the excessive release of adrenaline which can result in feeling nervous. Having anxious feelings without knowing why could be a reason for you fighting with yourself.   

How to Avoid Fighting With Yourself?

The best way to avoid fighting with yourself is by openly talking about your feelings until you can recognize the root of your problem and deal with it accordingly. There are many ways in which you can do this and not everything will work for everyone.

The general idea is to reduce your anxiety levels. By doing this you in turn can get to a mental state where you no longer feel the urge to argue with yourself. Some ways in which you can reduce your anxiety or stress levels include the following. 

Letting Your Feelings Out

One of the easiest ways for you to get all of your feelings out is by talking about them with a friend. Many problems relating to stress or anxiety come from a place of self-doubt or insecurity. Talking to friends who will listen to your problems and then offer words of encouragement can be a great help in getting you to a mentally sound place.  

If talking to a friend is not an option you would like to consider, then you might opt for journaling instead. Arguing in your head can get even more frustrating because of how scattered your thoughts feel. Writing your thoughts in a journal can help you organize your thoughts and rationally approach your problem.

If writing is not your thing. You can then try out what I like to call the talk show method. All you have to do here is pretend as though you are a guest on a talk show and tell all of your problems to an imaginary host. It may seem silly at first but this approach lets you deal with your problems in a light-heated setting while getting your feelings out in the open.

Prioritizing Self Care

The build-up of stress in the current day and age often occurs as a result of excessive work. Sometimes the best way to deal with this type of stress is by not dealing with it. Trying to solve problems when you feel unrest results in more problems. So take a day off and relax for a bit. Allowing yourself to relax will allow you to analyze your mental state from a new perspective.

If meditation does not help, another thing you can try is exercise. Anxiety occurs from the release of excessive adrenaline. A good way of shaking off this feeling is to exercise and tire the body out. Doing this will allow the feelings of anxiety to eventually subside. Once your anxiety has reduced, you will find yourself more at ease and less likely to argue with yourself. 

When to Seek Professional Help?

If none of the methods above end up working, it may be best to seek professional help. Going to therapy may seem scary at first but it is undoubtedly the best way to get to the root of whatever is bothering you. A licensed therapist shall also be able to give you solutions that are specific to your personality and problems. 

Having arguments with yourself is not an unusual occurrence. Any person who has had to go through moments of stress has likely suffered through similar experiences. However, if your problems go beyond just mental frustration and extend into physical symptoms of fatigue or panic attacks, you should definitely consider getting professional help. 

There are various forms of therapy at different price points available nowadays. If traditional couch therapy feels too intimidating, you can always opt for online therapy. Either way, getting professional help for mental health struggles is always encouraged. After all, going to therapy doesn’t make you weak, it only helps you get stronger. 


Mental health struggles are never an easy thing to deal with. How it progresses and resolves itself also varies from person to person. If you’ve been suffering from the question of– How do I stop fighting with myself? I hope this article has been useful in providing adequate answers. 

And if not, I highly advise you seek professional help as mental health can be even more important than physical health sometimes. Thank you for reading and I wish you the best on your journey to improving your mental health! 

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