Breakups are hard. But, moving on is harder. Due to attachment issues people often find it hard to emotionally detach themselves from people they used to see. If you are like that then you might be tempted to stay in contact with your ex even after you’ve moved on to a new relationship. But, is it wrong to talk to your ex while in a relationship?
It is quite disrespectful to talk to an ex while being in a relationship. This puts up an impression that you are still holding on to the past. Instead, the priority should be on letting go of the past and focusing on making the future better with the one you love.
This is just one out of the many reasons why talking to an ex is not the best move. Relationship dramas can be quite hectic. So, if you want to avoid such conflicts in the future I suggest you read through.
Reasons Why It Is Wrong to Talk to Your Ex
The main foundation of a relationship is trust, loyalty, honesty, respect, affection, and love. Lack in one of those can cause a relationship to weaken. When someone else comes in between you and your partner imbalance in the relationship and problems start to arise.
Makes your partner feel anxious or uncomfortable
Majorly it is seen that the partner is quite unhappy when an ex is mentioned. This causes an escalation of his and her insecurities. It can make them envious and cause trust issues to be formed.
Moreover, they might feel like they are under pressure and constantly getting compared causing them to not be at ease. Giving rise to unnecessary conflicts among the couple.
You will start comparing your recent partner to your ex
No matter what your partner does you will most likely end up comparing it to your ex. This is very unfair to your partner.
As every individual is unique in their own ways. Rather than giving your new partner some fair chances and time, you will start picking up on the minor flaws causing greater arguments.
Greater risk of falling for your ex again
Your ex is an ex for a reason. Even after knowing that you might feel yourself being attracted to that person again.
Well, you cannot be blamed as once they have been a huge part of your life. Starting from sharing memories, interests, inside jokes, there are so many forms of similarities between the two of you.
It will confuse you
There is a greater possibility of you romanticizing the past. Talking to an ex can make things harder for you if you are not over the past. In that case, you should not be dating as your focus should be on rebuilding your self-worth and emotionally getting stronger.
Being in contact with your ex while in a relationship can make you forget the bitter hurtful reasons for the breakup causing you to look forward to the sweeter memories. This can also make you question your feelings for your recent partner as your mind will be all over the place.
You will be reminded of the old pain
Past is never supposed to be perfect. Instead, the past plays a significant role in shaping the person we become daily. Flashbacks of your painful past will keep on haunting you. Hence the past wound would be feeling fresher.
You would need to go through the same emotional un-stability and this disrupts the mental peace. Unintentionally and unwantedly you will end up hurting your partner.
When Is It Okay to Talk to An Ex?
Breakups can be very hard to process. Therefore, getting through the breakup phase requires huge time and patience. So, after newly coming out of that relationship and then talking to an ex can make it more challenging for you to move on. Often you would end up hurting yourself more.
Talking to an ex is only acceptable when the two of you have had enough time away from each other. When you both have learned from your past mistakes and evolved to grow stronger.
When you know that you no longer possess any forms of romantic feelings for the other person and had successfully been over the past. Most importantly, your ex needs to be aware of that otherwise he or she might misinterpret your innocent and friendly gestures into thinking of possibilities that you two might get back together. This will bring in false hope for that person.
You should be brutally honest to your partner even if you contain feelings for your ex. You can never mislead a person and hurt them intentionally. The key here is to know what you want and how you feel before deciding on whether you want to stay friends with your ex.
Before being friends with them you should also talk to your partner about it. Whether they are okay with this or not. Their approval must be taken into consideration. As you should respect your partner’s love, loyalty, and trust.
If you do choose to stay friends with your ex while being in a relationship make sure your ex feels the same way and they don’t have any romantic feelings for you as well. Sometimes people act like they moved on when they haven’t.
So, being careful of your ex’s feelings for you before choosing to be friends is essential if you wish to maintain a healthy relationship with your current partner.
It’s because if your ex still has feelings for you and you hang out with your new partner in front them then they might get jealous and even think about sabotaging your relationship to have you back. Sure, I might be stretching things a bit but you can never be too sure.
What If Your Ex Wants to Talk to You?
Does your ex frequently try to contact you? What to do in that case? Honestly, there are no specific answers to that question. Right before blocking him or her, you should give yourself time to think. Depending on your situation conclude why they might try to communicate with you.
If the breakup is quite fresh there is a likely chance they might want to get back together. For which, you should think clear-headedly before pulling any move. You cannot stand on both boats. For certain reasons he or she is your ex hence, keep that in mind.
Either of the three will end up getting hurt. If you feel the same way or not as your ex your responsibility is to stay transparent with your partner. He or she has the complete right to know how you feel.
If you had enough time as in many years away from each other, then probably your ex is over you and no longer caught up on the past. Although, even if they want to stay friends do not go for it straight away.
Take into consideration how your recent partner reacts. Whether your ex is actually over you or not. As well as how you feel about staying in contact with your ex. Absorb the situation fully before deciding on staying friends with an ex to avoid any unnecessary fights or heartbreaks.
At the end of the day, it is your life, so do you. But, take it seriously as feelings are nothing to play around with. Listen to your heart before taking any major steps. You do not want to go through the same pain you have been through before and definitely not because of the same person over and over again.
Your recent partner has done nothing wrong but to just love you. So, do not make them go through trust issues or heartbreak unnecessarily. Hope this article cleared out any confusion you had on whether or not is it wrong to talk to your ex while in a relationship. Thanks for reading and take care.