Why My Ex Reached Out to Me Then Stopped?

It’s not an uncommon scenario to find your ex contacting you after breaking up, only to suddenly vanish. In some cases, the ex does it multiple times on and off. And, if that has happened to you then it is understandable for you to wonder – why my ex reached out to me then stopped?

Your ex perhaps contacted you because they were missing you but then they stopped because they regretted doing so. Often exes reach out because of boredom and stop for the same reason. They might have gotten back in touch to make their new partner jealous after a fight but later realized it’s wrong to talk to an ex.

Getting over a relationship often results in these lapses. But many people go through major conflicts of interest and have contradicting actions towards their exes. If your ex contacted you and suddenly started to ignore you, read this article to know what their reasons might be. 

Reasons Why Exes Contact and Then Stop

Your ex might be contacting you for various reasons but sometimes these reasons are not enough to make them continue communication. Thus they stop talking to you and start ignoring you. I’ve listed and explained some of those reasons below:

Your ex Was Missing You Suddenly or Wanted to Check Up On You

Missing one’s ex is not uncommon nor wrong. Your ex might contact you just because they miss you. They might be reminiscing about old times or a particular memory. After contacting you, once their purpose is fulfilled, they slowly go away again. This is because they did not have the intention to continue communication in the first place. 

Your ex probably wanted to check up on you. This kind of communication might lead to a continued conversation but it is mostly a harmless and healthy kind of contact. 

However, some people contact their ex solely to know how they are and immediately withdraw contact after they get a response. This could mean that your ex wants no extended communication but just wants to make sure you are doing okay. 

The purpose of stopping contact is to help you both move on peacefully without getting dependent on each other, broken, or bothered again. 

Still Not Over the Breakup

Breakups are hard and dealing with the pain makes a person restless. They keep looking for good reasons to get back into contact with their exes out of weakness. When it becomes overwhelming, they reach out. The inability to control their emotions pushes them to reach out and speak with you.

However, soon after they do it, they realize they should not have done it. The embarrassment and fear of being pitied make them go radio silent, pretending as though nothing happened. 

There is Guilt Involved

Guilt is one of the common reasons why exes contact but suddenly stop. They often contact you because of the realizations they have regarding the times they treated you wrong. It makes them feel at fault all the time and to escape it, they contact you.

Even if they wanted to reconcile, soon after they speak to you, they back off again. This comes from the fear of messing things up once more. It is a thin line people fight to get through- “Should I apologize for what I did?”, or “Should I keep the distance and never contact them again?”

They Wanted You to Get Weak Again

Sometimes people contact their exes just to make their ex weak once again. When breakups are done in haste or due to a silly fight, the unresolved issues keep bugging the two people. And one of them decides to come forward and bring the issues up again.

If you were the weak one who just needed one nudge to go back to them, they might contact you. This is done for attention and to get you to contact them yourself after this. They might completely ghost you after reaching out, leaving you weak and restless as a kind of revengeful act towards you. 

To Find Out If You Are Still Interested to Get Back

They just might hit you up just to find out if you are open to getting back together. The inability to move on or to replace the ex-partner in many cases brings the exes back together. This is a common scenario.

But, it depends on how you respond. If you were very aloof and cold, it might have made him or her stop from reaching out to you. Seeing that you are not interested, your ex’s ego might kick in and motivate him to leave.

Your Ex Was Bored

Boredom often makes your ex think about your whereabouts and how your life is going. They do not wish to gain anything but to pass the time- they contact. The texts or calls are bland most of the time and have no emotions in them.

The boredom further makes them stop the contact as they had no intention of continuing a conversation with you. 

Your Ex Found Someone New During the Contact

While in touch with you, if your ex met someone new, it is natural they stop contact. I know it feels weird as they are the ones who communicate, but they perhaps do not want to ruin the new relationship by being tied to a past one. 

The sense of being loyal to the new partner makes them end all contact with their ex. It is also better to have no relations with ex-partners as the existing ties with an ex can cause dilemmas.

Your Ex Contacts You During Setbacks in the New Relationship

Often the troubles in the new relationship make a person miss their ex and contact them. It might also be a way to make their new partner jealous. The fights and arguments result in swift and irrational decisions like approaching you. They communicate with no hesitation as it feels like the right thing to do or the right kind of revenge for the current partner.

However, soon after they realize their disloyalty towards their new partners, or when they reunite after the fight, your ex stops talking to you. 

Your Ex Recalled the Past Issues After Contacting You

Sometimes people are unable to decide whether they want to reconcile or want to let it all be. During these contradicting thoughts, your ex contacts you and considers becoming friends with you.

But soon after the memories of the broken relationship and the issues that led to the breakup come back to their mind, they abruptly go silent. Aloof and disrespectful responses from you after contacting might also be why they stopped reaching out. 

How to Prevent this from Happening Again?

Whether you like being in touch or not, communicating with the person you broke up with is not a good idea most of the time. It is different if you two are on good terms, but if your ex has a swinging habit of contacting and abruptly leaving, perhaps you should block your ex.

If you do not want to hear from them, you can always ignore them when they reach out. It will help you get over your ex faster and will make you stronger emotionally. If you do not want to be impolite, you can always ask him/her nicely to never reach out to you, or you may end the conversations with short replies.

As they receive an unwelcoming attitude from you, they will not bother to repeat this activity to avoid embarrassment.


I’m sure that the reasons I’ve talked about in this article explains why your ex reached out to you then stopped. If this keeps going on for too long don’t devalue yourself by replying to their calls or messages every time. Instead, let him or her know that you are ready to move and they should stop bothering you.

No, good will come from keeping connections with someone who cannot commit and just make up their mind. 

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