Unloving Boyfriend: Why Won’t He Just Breakup With Me?

Relationships are tough in general, but it’s even tougher when you are the one who has to drag it forward. If you are in a relationship where you are feeling unloved and contemplating “Why won’t he just break up with me?” you are certainly not alone.

From being confused about his emotions to being afraid of ending up alone, there could be a number of reasons your boyfriend is not yet ready to give you up.

In this article, I will talk about all the possible reasons why your boyfriend is not letting you go, what it could possibly mean and what steps you should take if you happen to be in this situation. Without any further ado, let’s delve deeper into this topic and find out what led your man to behave like this.

Reasons Why He Might Not Breakup With You

Granted all situations, it is safe to say that all relationships are different. And that’s why it is hard to assume what went wrong in a relationship. If you are attempting to figure out why he is keeping you around, check out the points below:

He is unsure of his emotions

If he’s been acting cold lately, chances are he is having second thoughts about you. He cannot make up his mind whether to leave you or just keep things as it is.

He is afraid of coming to terms with his feelings and thus, refraining himself from addressing the issue.

He is going through a rough time

If your boyfriend does not seem like the same person you fell in love with anymore, there’s a possibility that he is going through a rough time.

He is pushing you away because he does not want you to get involved. He might still be interested in you but doesn’t know how to proceed at the moment.

He doesn’t have the guts to break up

Breaking up is hard, no doubt about that. No one wants to deal with the pain and trauma that comes with it.

There’s a good chance he is afraid of conflict and that’s why letting his actions speak for himself. Instead of communicating, he is pulling himself away hoping you will be the one to end the relationship.

He is afraid of being alone

Being in a relationship can often turn into a habit. A habit that is hard to break even when it is equally draining for both of you.

Even if he knows that the relationship has come to end, the attachment you two share might stop him from making a decision.  He is afraid of ending up alone and therefore, doesn’t want to regret his decision when it’s too late to get you back.

He is toxic

If you didn’t know already, toxic people thrive on controlling people around them. Not the type that makes you feel safe, but the control that makes you sad and insecure.

Whenever they feel out of control, they exert power over others to feel powerful. No matter how hard you try to break free, a toxic boyfriend will always find his way to gaslight and manipulate you.

Should You Continue The Relationship?

It takes two people to make a relationship work. Your relationship is likely to fall apart at some point if it is one-sided.  So, if you happen to be the only one putting effort into the relationship, then it might be time to end the relationship.

If you love your boyfriend way too much, it becomes easy for you to brush all the red flags aside. With time, you may get accustomed to treatments that you wouldn’t consider to be normal in your right mind.

Not to mention, it can wreck you for life and make you a mess. Being in a relationship can weirdly influence the way you see yourself. If you are constantly underappreciated in your relationship, it can affect your self-esteem in the worst possible way.

Most importantly, it’s never cool for a boyfriend to have control over you. You should be the one to make decisions about yourself and your relationship. Anyone who stands in your way of doing that is not worth your time.

Even if he is not ready to let you go, you have to get yourself out before it’s too late. It will hurt for sure, but you will be saving both of yourselves time and pain down the road.

How To End Things With Him?

No matter how broken or toxic your relationship is, calling it off is painful for both parties. There is no “best” way to end a relationship, but if done the right way, it can reduce the pain and discomfort down to a great deal. Below are some tips on how to end things with him:

Do it in person

No matter how tempting breaking up over a phone call or text seems, it is better to do it in person. Even if your relationship is not ending on the best of terms, be as respectful as you can. Doing it in person will make him realize, it is a significant event for you. And, this will influence him to act civil too!

Nevertheless, if your boyfriend has anger issues or a history of abusing you, breaking up over the phone is completely okay. Beyond everything, your safety comes first!

Be honest and direct

According to a recent study, people prefer their breakup to be as direct as it can be. Your boyfriend has every right to know why he’s being dumped. Instead of skirting around the issue or giving too many details, keep it direct.

Be honest with him, but there’s no need to be brutal. Explain why it is not working for you anymore, without painting him out to be the “bad guy”.

Listen to what he has to say

Even if he is the one who made you break up with him, don’t be surprised if he doesn’t take it well. Allow him some time to process it and ask him how he feels about it.

Listen to what he wants to say, all the while staying firm on your decision. As you’re the one who’s initiating the breakup, try to be as nice as you can.

Cut all ties with him

Cutting all ties with your ex is a proven way to move on from your ex. (2) Be it your contacts or social media, make sure to remove him from all the platforms.

Request him to do the same. Otherwise, you are most likely to find a way to get back with your ex.

Start the healing process

Breaking up with someone takes up a lot of energy and courage. Don’t beat yourself up for grieving over your breakup.

Focus on yourself and take as much time as you need to move past the painful emotions. Reflect on the relationship and try to look at it as an opportunity for your growth!


If you are miserable in your relationship more than you are happy, it’s time to call it quits. Whether your boyfriend is toxic, or he just doesn’t have the guts to break up, you have to let yourself out of the relationship that no longer serves you.

Instead of wasting your time thinking “why won’t he just break up with me?”, and waiting around, do it yourself before it’s too late. Now that you’ve made it to the end of the article, I hope this write-up will come in handy to make things easier for you!