If you are dealing with a man who is using you, it is safe to say that you don’t have a healthy relationship with him. It is possible that you are tired, and your state of mind is a mess right now. If you want to bring changes to the table, you have to take steps regarding this issue. But, how to deal with a man that uses you?
If you are sure that your man is using you then your primary concern should be to recognize and avoid his manipulative tactics. Be confident and realize that you deserve better. You can try talking to him about how you feel. And if that doesn’t work distancing yourself would be best. If worse comes to worst, think about getting professional help.
If you’re still unclear about what to do then don’t worry. In this article, I’m going to provide a few tips on how to deal with a manipulative partner. I’m sure that following these tips will help you deal with this difficult situation you’re in. So, without further ado, let’s begin.
Dealing with a Man That Uses You
In the course of your relationship, you will find several red flags. Some of those you can fix by honest conversations and some will forever stay unchanged because of refusals. The tips below will help you to be more upfront about your problems, because only when you are honest, changes happen.
1. Get to the Root
Address the difficulties you are facing in the relationship with him. Be absolutely honest and tell him how it is making you feel. If he is concerned about you, he will fix his actions. If he does not acknowledge it and treats you just the same, then you should just invest your energy in somewhere else.
It is not worth your time to be with someone who does not respect your feelings. If you are stuck with a man who only cares about himself, then you should cut ties with him. Relations are meant to be mutual; not one sided.
2. Don’t Accept Lies
Again, if you know your man is lying to you about something, confront him. Don’t sit and accept whatever he says to you. Don’t be so gullible that he can feed you lies and get away with it. This makes him believe he can make you live in his falsehood forever. Do not give him that chance.
Try to speak and confront him. If he still does not accept the accusations, then you know you are stuck with a liar. Later, be as direct as you can, and tell him how he is affecting your relationship by hiding stuff from you. Inform him; how his lies are creating trust issues between you two.
3. Don’t Play Blind When He Cheats
Sometimes a lot of women feel so insecure about themselves that they tend to accept whatever their partners throw at them. If you know your partner is cheating on you, don’t succumb to insecurity. Don’t feel that you will not find anyone else because you were not ‘good enough’ for that person.
Cheating is never a mistake, and it cannot be fixed ever. It is a fully conscious act. So, when you find out, he cheated on you, do yourself a favour and leave him. You deserve more than that, and you will eventually find your happiness within yourself and others that are around you.
4. Be Aware of Mind Games
Men, who use you, are manipulators. They play with your mind to make you think they are head over heels for you. In reality, they are not. They do this to get away with their disgusting actions that may endanger your relationship. Be aware when his words and actions do not match.
When you get into these types of situations, try reminding him what he said, and what he did in return. In most cases, men will not admit to their mistakes and makeup excuses. However, be mindful of what he promised you.
5. Manage Your Emotional Expectations
If you know, the man in your life is not good for you, then you should manage your expectations. I believe you do not want to live the rest of your life with a man who is using you. So, lower your expectations of him and the relationship.
Even if your feelings get hurt in the process, try to accept it. Own your pain, and make yourself understand that you cannot depend on a guy who is using you. Men do not manipulate or lie to women whom they love. So, be ready for heartbreak and do not expect everything will change by a miracle.
6. Do Not Blame Yourself
You might end up feeling like it is all your fault. Maybe, you did something wrong that made him act this way. You are completely wrong if you ever feel this. When a man uses you, always try to remember, he knows your weak spots. So, he will deliberately try to attack you on those points, to make you feel weaker and unworthy.
Remind yourself that you deserve better. Love and respect come hand in hand, so if a man is not showing you that, then you are not with the right person. Self-blaming is not going to fix your problems with that type of man.
7. Set Standards
As mentioned previously, do not accept anything a man throws at you. Know your worth and keep your priorities straight. Keep a list of things you want from your partner, and always follow that. In addition to that, make a list of behaviours that you never want to tolerate again from your partner. In this way, you would get to keep a track of your priorities.
It might sound stupid to keep a list, but it is okay if you tend to forget what you expect from a man. A strong person is only strong because they keep reminding themselves that they are. It is not an easy job. It needs a lot of practice and patience.
8. Seek support
There should be no shame in asking for help. If you feel like you need professional help after getting rid of a toxic man or relationship, you should go for it. Different people deal with things differently. So, when it comes to your mental health, you should be the one who will decide what type of support you would need.
If you do not require professional help, you can always go to your friends who care about you and talk to them. Talking, sharing and expressing how you feel are also part of therapy. Be truthful about your experiences with the toxic man of your life. Keep your circle positive, and you will see how much it can change your life.
By following the steps mentioned here, I hope you can understand the idea of how to deal with a man that uses you. Always be truthful about your conditions to your partner. If he is cooperative, maybe you can give it another chance and see if it works out. However, if he does not change his actions, and keep hurting you then you know what to do now.
I hope this article was of help to you. Wishing you a joyful life. Stay safe and take care.