If our partner strays and is found cheating, many of us automatically blame ourselves. As a result, we end the relationship without dealing with any of our issues, insecurities, and feelings of hurt and head out searching for another wonderful relationship. By not dealing with our hurt emotions, we carry them over into our new relationship.
Worrying about your partner cheating on you is pointless. You have no control over what your partner will do or how he will react when tempted to stray. All that you can do is decide how you will respond once you hear the news, and then do what is right for you. Only you can determine the next step.
While we feel terribly hurt after finding out that our partner has cheated on us, there is no reason to expect our new relationship to be the same, but often the feelings linger. The lesson to learn is that it is pointless to worry about your new partner cheating in this relationship, and enjoy your life together without fear hanging over your head. Here’s how to help yourself overcome!
12 Reasons You Should Stop Worrying About Being Cheated On
If your partner is going to stray for whatever reason, you cannot do anything about it. The decision will be his alone. So, communicate and spend quality time with your partner and enjoy your life together. Worrying about whether he is going to cheat on you is pointless.
Here are a few reasons why:
- You can’t ever control what your partner does, so let go of the fear. You can control how you behave, think and feel, so choose to enjoy life!
- Trust. If you don’t trust him, why are you with him?
- You don’t need the stress! Reading his messages, calling him constantly, checking social media – all you are doing is damaging your health!
- Worry can put a strain on your relationship and cause arguments!
- Believe that you are essential and loveable to him. He is in a relationship with you for a reason; enjoy his love and attention.
- Be confident, self-assured, and choose to believe that he loves you.
- He is with you because you are funny and gorgeous, remember that!
- Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen and focus on what you do want to happen in the relationship. Plan for the future together.
- Has he ever given you any valid reason not to trust him? Unless he gives you a reason not to trust him, live your best life!
- Don’t doubt him for no reason.
- If he does cheat, you will eventually find out, so why worry?
- If he cheats and the relationship is destroyed, you will find someone else!
Should You Dump Your Cheating Boyfriend?
A breakup is never easy, but often is the only choice left at the end of the day. Differences of opinion, cheating, and infidelity, and often, differences of religion can strain a relationship.
While you are the only one who can decide to end the relationship after he has cheated on you, here are some signs which should help you to make your decision.
- He denies cheating, even though you caught him red-handed.
- He refuses to apologize for cheating on you.
- He said sorry, but didn’t mean it.
- He won’t tell you why he cheated on you and who with.
- He is still in contact with the other woman.
- He denies that it’s his fault that he cheated.
- He’s not boyfriend material anymore.
- You don’t want to make the relationship work anymore.
- He doesn’t want to make the relationship work anymore.
- If he cheated on you once, he could do it again.
- You can’t trust him, and you won’t be happy with him any longer.
What Not To Do After You Have Been Cheated On
You caught him cheating, and you have broken up with him. What now? How should you react? This relationship didn’t survive, but it doesn’t mean that your next one won’t. You will need time to heal before looking for a new love, but how you react to his infidelity is what counts now.
Don’t do any of these after he has cheated on you!
- Don’t try to get even. You are only wasting your time, not his!
- Don’t ignore that it happened and stick your head in the sand. It did happen; deal with it!
- Don’t make threats that you don’t intend to carry out.
- Don’t rebound into a relationship with anyone. Instead, take your time to heal.
- Don’t feel guilty about the breakup. He cheated. You didn’t!
- Don’t let bitterness take over your life. Instead, forgive him and move on.
- Don’t look for someone to love in the same place that you found the last one. Stay away from serial cheaters!
What To Do If You Find Your Husband Cheating
Your husband cheated on you. You never thought this day would ever happen. Yet, you trusted him and believed in the fidelity of your marriage. Instead, he has done the unimaginable and the unthinkable and has had an affair. You now know the horrific truth, so what comes next?
Can your marriage survive, or is the relationship broken beyond repair? To move forward, follow these steps:
- Take time to process what has happened. First, allow yourself to scream and cry. Then, talk to trusted family members or a therapist. Individual therapy will help you to work through the feelings of betrayal.
- Talk to your husband and find out the uncensored truth, however painful. Then, listen to what he has to say. Recovery can only begin with honesty.
- Ask questions, but only focus on the facts. Don’t ask personal questions or for details of the event. Don’t interrupt him and allow him to finish his story. He must let you ask the same questions over and over until you work through it. You can only process what happened by asking the questions that trouble you.
- Don’t blame or accuse him, yourself, or the third party. You are not responsible for his choices. However, he must understand what he did and how much he hurt you.
- Accept what happened. Ignoring what happened won’t make it go away. Open your heart, share your fears, emotions, hurt, and insecurities with him.
- Decide what comes next and re-evaluate your relationship. He must agree to do what is necessary to restore the wellness of your relationship.
- If you are staying together, talk to a therapist. A qualified marriage counselor can help you both to work through your issues.
- Mourn the loss of your relationship. Your entire life will be affected by the decision that he made to cheat on you. Whether you stay together, things will never be the same.
- Learn to love yourself again and, if you are staying together, learn to love and trust each other again.
Finding your ideal partner and setting up the perfect life together is a dream come true for most people. However, trust is a big part of your daily walk together, so when that is broken because of a slimy, cheating partner, it can be hard to trust anyone again.
Any new relationship deserves a chance to flourish. If you are still dealing with unresolved emotions and trust issues from a previous relationship, it can be hard to enjoy your new life without expecting bad things to happen. Learning how to cope with your own emotions and feelings of inferiority will help you stop worrying about a cheating partner. By learning coping mechanisms, you will learn to understand that worrying about your partner cheating on you is indeed a pointless exercise and to enjoy yourself!