Is It Okay To Change Yourself For A Relationship?

When you fall in love, it changes your entire world, including your perspectives, beliefs, and ideologies. However, it can sometimes change you as well. While some people openly accept the changes in themselves, others constantly wonder is it okay to change yourself for a relationship.

The truth is that you should be open to change for someone you love. You want to be the best version of yourself when you’re in a healthy relationship. However, a good partner will embrace you for whom you really are, regardless of your flaws.

When you can see through yourself, your compassion, mistakes, regrets, goals, achievements, and positive and negative energies, it will be crystal clear what you should consider changing and what you should not.  I’ll take you on a journey through my personal experiences in this article to help you gain a better understanding.

Reasons Why You Should Consider Changing

People change with each passing day. Some adjustments have transformed you into a better version, while others have resulted in unpleasant consequences. If you believe the changes you’re going through are positive, genuine, and coming from inside, they’re absolutely worth considering.

We all know that “Change is the only constant”. But how many of us actually believe in it? Before taking any steps in your relationship or life in general, you should first embrace this fact. No matter where you are, who you are, or who you are with, things in life will continue to change.

People we spend time with influence us in some way. As a result, your relationship has the most impact on your life. So, no matter how much we wish for it, we can’t expect to remain the same throughout our life. Below is a list of reasons why you should consider changing:

If You Think You Are Becoming A Better Person

A positive change is one that removes your negativity and leaves you feeling happier than before. You should definitely take this type of change into consideration.

Let’s say, for example, you have a reputation for being obnoxious in public. You’ve now fallen head over heels in love with someone who treats you well.  It will have an effect on you whether you realize it or not. You’ll come to understand that treating others with respect earns you the same respect in return.

If You Are Willing To Make The Change

Nobody should be forced to do anything. Regardless of whether the change is for the better or worse, you must first believe in it. Once you believe in something, you’ll be more motivated to seek it out. Thus, you truly want the change to occur, you must desire it with all of your beings.

Suppose, you have a really bad schedule, which is making your professional life worse day by day. Your partner notices this and asks you to fix your schedule for the whole day. Now you have to be willing to fix it first. No one can help you if you don’t want to be helped!

If The Change Gets You Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Now, this is a very sensitive topic that people often misunderstand. Getting out of your comfort zone doesn’t mean you have to do the things you’re not comfortable with. In other words, it means that you need to broaden your interests in life by going on adventures and learning new things. You’ll gain more life experience and knowledge this way.

Let’s say you’re a writer who only writes short stories because that’s where your strengths lie. Your partner is a movie buff who is making you watch more movies than you used to before. Writing movie reviews is something you could certainly try. This will broaden your interests, all the while elevating your skills.

If You Have The Toxic Traits In Yourself

This is the most important thing you should consider changing. If you are a toxic, abusive, manipulative, and don’t care about your partner’s feelings at all, you should definitely change yourself.

If you really care about someone and want to spend time with them, you would definitely want to break free from your toxic habits and traits. However, if you are unwilling to change yourself for your traits, calling it quits would be best for both!

Reasons Why You Should Not Consider Changing

While there are many reasons to change for your partner, there are also some good reasons to stay the same. If you’re being compelled to make adjustments that aren’t rational or natural, you shouldn’t consider changing yourself.

Below are the reasons why you should not change yourself for a relationship:

If The Change Hampers Your Passion Or Career

Just because you’re in love with someone with different interests shouldn’t impact your job ambitions, passions, or goals. Rather, you should share your passions and dream of achieving something even greater with your partner.

Whether you dream of being a celebrity or a homemaker, your partner should be on your side. But, if your partner does not respect your passion, getting out of the relationship would be a smart move. It will save you a lot of pain and drama down the road.

If It Takes Away The Good Relationship With Other People In Your Life

Changes that jeopardize your relationships with family and friends should never be made. Even if your partner dislikes someone you care about, their preferences should never be your top priority.

If this is the case, have a serious conversation with your partner. Ask your partner to give you all the reasons why they believe you should cut ties with someone.

People that are toxic will demand that you cut off people from your life without giving you a good reason to do so. Remember, when it comes to relationships, communication is the key!

If It Changes Your Ethics And Values

Everyone has their own set of principles, principles, and values. There are eight billion people on the planet, each with their own unique set of views. This is what sets us apart from one another. If your partner wants you to change your morals and values, you need to talk!

Morals and ethics are often derived from religious or social perspectives.  It’s a concept that different people will interpret differently. If your personal values harm someone else, and your partner asks you to change them, you should take their suggestions into account!

Finding A Middle Ground

You cannot expect any change to happen overnight. You and your partner have to communicate in the case of changing things. Take a step forward and do it if you both agree on the areas where you should change. Expect the same thing from your partner if it’s the other way around.

Whenever you suspect something is bothering your partner, make an effort to convey your concerns. There has been no solution ever made without communicating. You can’t start changing yourself for the better if you don’t even know what traits of yours bothers your partner in the first place!


By now, you probably have understood when and what to change. Spending your entire life with someone you like is not that easy. There are always going to be situations where you and your partner have to make a different choice. However, you should always be open to compromise. All the while being patient with each other.

Changes bring joy, as well as misery. So, if you’re still worrying about whether it is okay to change yourself for a relationship, stop worrying and find a middle ground. Thanks for stopping by!

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