Unrequited love can be painful. The longing for a “never-gonna-happen” future aches your heart more than you let on. People around you think that you are being too emotional or whiny about it. They don’t realize how desperately you are looking to get over a one-sided love.
So, you need to know how to get over someone you almost dated. The short answer is you have to stop trying hard to move on. Stop pressuring yourself. You don’t have to be in control of every situation in life. Sometimes, you have to go through the experience and learn the most from it. Don’t think you are weak to let someone have that much control over you. It’s not “you”, it’s just another incident of life.
That’s the gist of the lesson on how to get over from unrequited love. Please read the entire article to train your mind to handle a crucial situation such as this.
In this article, I have presented 8 tips on how to get over someone you almost dated based on my personal experience of letting go of unreciprocated feelings for someone. Please follow and instill these practices in your life.
Tips On How to Get Over Someone You Almost Dated
1. Talk To Someone
Talking is a healthy practice to soothe the worries of the mind. But you need to be picky about the person you want to share all your problems with. You need to remember that people are judgmental, not even without trying to be. It’s hard to see someone entirely from a neutral point of view.
People continuously compare and evaluate their experiences with others. It’s hard to empathize with someone without experiencing the same thing. Only psychologists or highly empathetic people can do that. Your recovery depends a lot on the person who is providing you with emotional support. Choose that person wisely!
Always remember to tell your problems only to three types of people-
- To someone who can help you from a neutral point of view.
- To someone, you can help from a neutral point of view.
- To someone who is having the same experience as you.
If you find someone you can talk to, consider half of your recovery is done!
2. Don’t Hold Back Your Sadness
Don’t beat yourself up for feeling sad or frustrated. I know a lot of confusion, sadness, and frustrations are roaming inside your head. But it’s natural, trust me. When you really like someone, you imagine a future with them. A sudden rejection from their side can make you feel shocked and sad.
Restraining the negative emotions will only make you more bitter. This is not a practical way to deal with it. Let yourself be sad. Sadness is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of a more emotive person. Being emotive or sensitive doesn’t make you weak.
Studies show that sensitive people are mentally strong. They cope with any adverse situation more efficiently than an emotionally-reserved person. So, let the sadness have you if you want to get rid of it. Holding back your sadness can make you more conflicted and insecure.
3. Don’t Question Your Self-Esteem
There is nothing wrong with you. Yes, I know you are feeling low. You question your self-worth. But think about it this way-
Why do you think that he/she rejected you because you are not enough? It doesn’t have to be about you. Maybe they had some other problems. Perhaps they had some undealt problems like trust issues and commitment issues. Perhaps they had an ex they can’t forget about. It can be anything.
When someone rejects us, we think it’s because we are not likable or appealing. But that’s not true. In most cases, the other party also like us, but not enough to be with us. They don’t want to form an attachment with us or anyone. They don’t want a relationship with anyone… it’s not particularly with you.
No matter how sad we are, it’s always a must to respect someone’s privacy and choice. Questioning someone’s choice or invading their privacy can make you look like a hateful nosy boor. This is the last thing you want, trust me!
4. Write Every Day About How You Feel
You know, it’s all about getting it all out of your system. If you don’t find someone you can talk to, write it in a diary. You can also talk to someone and maintain a diary simultaneously. Just vent it all out as much as possible. Don’t keep your pain to yourself.
Keep that diary with yourself all the time. When you are feeling particularly painful, go to a quiet space where you can be alone. And then write it all in the diary. Writing about your pain can diminish its strength over time.
A tip on diary writing: Always put the current date in your daily diary log! It helps to track the trajectory of your emotions.
5. Know That Crying Is Not A Sign of Weakness
Crying is not a sign of weakness. You are human, and it is your natural response to distress. Don’t feel self-conscious about breaking into pieces and crying earnestly.
Holding yourself from crying can increase the secretion of cortisol or stress hormone in your system. Crying gives you instant relief from stress by releasing endorphins and oxytocin-the natural painkiller/feel-good hormones.
6. Seek Professional Help
If you just can’t get over the pain of rejection and it’s hampering your life, no matter what other people or the rest of the world think about it, see a psychologist. Therapy can work wonders. Not only will it help you to get over the pain, but also it will help you cope with this type of situation in the future. So, what’s the harm?
As we have discussed before, you can find help online in this case. There are a lot of online websites and apps which offer counseling services.
7. See Someone Else
Sometimes, when you go out with other people, you quickly forget the person who rejected you. But sometimes it doesn’t work.
It totally depends on you. If you feel good, go for it. Don’t force yourself into the norms of the world. If a friend or a family member is pressurizing you to do it, tell them a firm “no.”
8. Use Free Online Therapy Apps Or Services
These are a bunch of free therapy apps on the App Store and Google Play Store. These apps can help you when you are feeling particularly edgy. As I have said before, a trustworthy and compassionate listener is your superpower in this situation. Besides, people often feel at ease talking about their problems to strangers rather than someone they know.
Some of these apps have a free chat feature. In this feature, you can select a stranger who will listen to your problems. This feature is usually free as the listeners are not usually licensed therapists or counselors. They just listen to your problems and give you tips based on their personal experience.
You have to pay a subscription fee to talk to a certified counselor on these apps. I have listed the best apps for you, here they are-
- 7 Cups (Free Chat via Listeners)
- Therapeer (Free Chat via Support Rooms)
That’s a wrap-up on how to get over someone you almost dated. Always remember that no experience of life is worth more than life itself. Do everything you can for your happiness and good health.
The right person for you is still waiting to be found. So, move on, be strong and take care.