Why Do Guys Go Cold After a Breakup? (In Detail)

Breakups are tough for both men and women. But in general, men have a different approach in withstanding breakups, and most of them are known to become cold. But what drives the cold approach?

Some guys become cold recalling the issues of the broken relationship. It can be due to the inability to express their pain or because of loneliness as well. Other reasons include- ego problems,  resentment towards their ex, ignoring their faults and guilt, or even a new person’s involvement in life.

It cannot be said exactly why some guys become unwelcoming after a breakup. But in this article, I have mentioned every possible reason that can influence it. Read on to know more about why do guys go cold after breakup.

11 Reasons Why Guys Go Cold After Breakup

Individuals have their ways of dealing with breakups. But in general, there are many commonly found reasons why guys choose to be cold or automatically become so. Here I’ve arranged 11 of the most common reasons.

1. Recalling the Issues of the Broken Relationship

The constant obsession over past issues bothers their thoughts, making them reserved on the outside and almost antisocial and less approachable. The overthinking forces them to think about the alternative ways that could have saved the relationships. As they can’t pretend through those thoughts, they become resentful and mean.

If a guy has experienced heartbreak, betrayal, or similar issues in a past relationship, he is likely to get bummed out or feel hopeless about his worth. Or he may start generalizing all the girls as bad. 

2. Fear of Being Perceived as Weak

Some men think that expressing pain or suffering because of a broken relationship is wrong and demeaning for a man. It is not their fault to think so as society claims that “men do not cry.” But this reason influences the tough persona, even if a guy is sensitive. They find it better to be cold other than asking for a friendly shoulder to cry on or even express what is hurting them.

The fear of being perceived as frail pushes them to pretend like the breakup is not a botheration. They deem- the less they express, the stronger they will seem.

3. The Male Ego

The male ego also stops a guy from showing general etiquette. Their ego extends way too beyond the breakup and its reasons, and for that, they would rather die than show any other emotion other than a frigid one.

The carefree rude attitude is often a way to pose like they were right if the breakup was due to a fight. It is a method to keep their backs firm, avoiding to apologize. 

4. Loneliness

If a guy has taken the breakup hard, he might become cold because of loneliness. Relationships are often the only things that keep people content and fulfilled. The overwhelming melancholy consuming a guy who lost his close person can result in a withdrawn attitude with others. 

Even if people are trying to communicate or connect, they might be rude and unfriendly to them.

5. Pretending Not to Care: to Avoid or Get Attention

Sometimes when coping with a broken relationship, men find it easier to become carefree and emotionless. Some pretend to be so to avoid sharing with anyone. It is also a coping mechanism- kind of a shield over their weakness. Thus, they may behave rudely and coldly to show a lack of concern.

But it can be the other way around too. A guy is also likely to act cold with his caring ex-girlfriend to make her miss him. It will be a stunt to get more attention.

6. Resentment, Anger, and Hate

Ugly breakups often result in anger and hate. Resentment is one of the genuine reasons why a man prefers to become unfriendly and cold with his ex. It is a way for them to keep the ex-partner away from their life as much as possible.

A broken-hearted guy might telecast his sadness into anger and prefer to hold onto the hate. Thus when communicating with the person who left him, he is hostile. And if the ex-partner cheated, anger is a common reason to influence the unfriendly behavior.

7. To Avoid the Guilt

Some guys avoid the ex they have wronged by shutting them out completely. Through this, they overlook everything wrong they have done. The ignorance makes it easier to dodge their guilt and faults while acting oblivious about the sufferings they have caused their ex.

When a guy leaves his ex, abruptly or due to a conflict in which he is at fault, he will turn cold and become rude, all to help himself believe that he was right. Or it is a way to forcefully shut down any inner voice that creates the guilt in his heart.

8. To Move on from Their Ex Properly

If a guy wants to move on from his ex, he may practice the unfriendly nature to make moving on easier. Communication and nice behavior often trigger memories, making the breakup more painful.

This may come as a shock to the ex who perhaps wanted to take time to heal. However, this cold decision from a guy may be considered a smart move for carrying on with life in a healthier way. 

9. Started to See Someone New

Perhaps he is cold and hostile because he found someone else. The transfer of feelings and concentration in a new relationship will very likely make a guy distant from his ex.

Finding someone new is always a valid reason to stop all sweet communication with the ex-partner as that may arise the old feelings again. It can also be a condition of the new person where the guy is barred from communicating with his ex. 

10. Completely Over the Breakup

A guy may also become cold when he does not feel anything for his ex any longer. The unfriendliness is automatic in this case as he is over his ex, and does not necessarily think he is hurting them in any way.

If the ex was a cheater, then getting over that breakup is easier. In this case, the rude temperament comes hand in hand.

11. A Planned Breakup

When a man plans to break up, the emotions also slowly start to fade. Thus, once the breakup is official, the man barely feels any remorse or even thinks about empathizing with the ex. This is also why they are indifferent about their ex’s pain.

The newly found freedom of a guy who planned to break up will not make him look back or even be compassionate to a hurting ex.

Do They Ever Stop Having the Cold Attitude?

Of course! Most guys suffering from this emotionless phase recover from it. Men who have broken up mutually, or even had their hearts broken, take some time to express themselves through anger and unfriendly behavior. But this soon gets better as life goes on. 

However, there remain exceptions of those who miss their ex and want to get back. If they keep acting up because of their heartbreak and remain resentful or hurtful instead of letting it go, the unfriendly nature remains a trait in their character. 


Why do guys go cold after breakup? Well, the reasons are many. It can vary from one person to another and is influenced by the circumstances of the breakup. Adjusting to the changes of a broken relationship takes time, and in the meantime, some guys prefer to act up through mean behavior. But that passes too.

However, it depends on if the guy was wrong in the breakup. In that case, recovering from his unnecessary cold behavior will take time!

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