A friend is someone you can turn to in good times and bad, someone you can call in the middle of the night, someone you can enjoy life with. We all have great friends that we look forward to spending quality time with and others that we see occasionally. Life is better with friends in it who respect you for who you are!
You know your friends don’t respect you if they:
- Are not interested in anything you have to say
- Don’t support you
- Don’t celebrate your success
- Keep letting you down at the last minute
- Don’t return your calls
- Talk behind your back
- Are jealous of your romantic life
Whether we have a crowd of friends or only one important, life-long buddy, friends help us to navigate life. So, what happens when your relationship with your best buddy turns toxic, and they start to avoid you? Will your friendship survive without respect, and would you want to remain friends with someone who has no respect for you?
How Do You Know If Your Friend Doesn’t Respect You?
A good friend can be hard to find. If you are lucky, you may find a crowd of friends you fit in with and enjoy good times with. Sometimes you may click with one particular person and become closer to that one person than all the rest.
Finding out that the one friend you considered unique and closer than the crowd is actually not respecting you can be difficult, but how do you know when and if they are disrespecting you?
How do you know if your friend is truly your friend or if they are using you until someone better comes along?
Check the below list, and if your close friend is acting like any of these, chances are they don’t respect you and are taking you for granted.
1. They Are Not Interested In Anything That You Say
You are talking, and they cut you off before you have a chance to finish your sentence because they are not interested in what you have to say, and they need your attention desperately. They disrespect you by telling you that their story is more important than yours, so, by default, they are letting you know that they are more important than you!
2. They Don’t Support You
A good friend will encourage and support you in all your dreams and plans. They will try and help you to achieve your goals whenever they can. If your friend is not there to support you and encourage you with your plans and dreams, they do not respect you as a friend. If they only come to you when they need your support, then there is a problem with their friendship.
3. They Don’t Celebrate Your Success
If your friend is not there for you to cheer you on and celebrate your victories with you, they are not a great friend, and they certainly don’t respect you. A true friend will celebrate with you and not be jealous or envious of your achievements and accomplishments.
4. They Keep Letting Your Down At The Last Minute
You make arrangements with your friend, but they call you at the last moment to cancel your plans. If this is happening more and more, then it’s time to find a new friend, especially if your friend cancels your plans to meet with other people and you are not invited to join them! They don’t keep their promises to you and conveniently forget your planned arrangements and let you down.
5. They Don’t Return Your Calls
If your friend doesn’t return your call or reply to your messages occasionally, that’s acceptable. But if they often don’t return your calls and have lame excuses and get upset when you don’t instantly return their calls, then they are totally disrespecting you! A friendship is a two-way street, and the rules should apply to both people in the relationship and not only to one of them.
6. They Talk Behind Your Back
Your best friend insults and demeans you behind your back but denies it when you confront them. They are really looking for attention with your crowd of friends and cannot face the fact that perhaps you are a more sociable person and more popular than they are. Maybe you need to listen to what the crowd tells you and believe what they are saying about your toxic “best” friend.
7. They Are Jealous Of Your Romantic Life
Your friend is so jealous of your romantic life that they start to meddle in your life by trying to seduce your partner to try to break up your relationship. They are willing to sabotage your happiness to make you feel as miserable as they are!
What Are The Signs Of A Bad Friend?
Often you cannot tell when your friend is disrespectful, and the relationship is becoming toxic. Sometimes we allow the relationship to continue because we have been friends with the person forever. However, horrible, disrespectful friends can ruin your life if you let them. Here are a few signs to watch out for to decide if you need to continue with the relationship or to let it go.
- They are always in a bad mood around you but not around others.
- You only hear from them when they are bored or have nothing better to do.
- They tell your secrets to the rest of the crowd and publicly humiliate you.
- They insult you, make fun of you, and make you feel bad.
- You are expected to pay for them wherever you go.
- They lie to you and don’t care about your feelings at all.
What To Do When Your Friends Don’t Respect You
When you have decided that your friendship has become toxic, what do you do to change the situation? Do you continue as life as usual, or do you put your foot down and implement rules and boundaries? Here are a few ideas on what to do.
- Talk to your friend and tell them how you feel. Speak calmly and let them know that they are disrespecting you and how they make you feel. They might surprise you and sincerely apologize. Perhaps they did not realize how their behavior was affecting you.
- If your friend does not acknowledge what you are telling them and disagrees, then perhaps it’s time to let them go – not all friendships are meant to last forever, and some do eventually run their course.
- Once you have decided to let them go and move on with your life, consciously move forward without them, no matter how hard it may seem.
- Stop all communication with them, let the friendship and the relationship go, and find a new best friend.
- If you do find yourself missing your best friends’ company, remember how they made you feel, stop and grieve a while over the lost friendship, then move on. It’s ok to be sad over a lost friendship. The problem was with them and not with you.
- When you run into your old friend, remember to be mature and treat them with respect and kindness, even though they hurt you.
Good friendships and a supportive network of friends will help you reduce stress, cope with trauma and encourage positive behavior, but toxic friendships can cause stress and take a seriously negative toll on your health.
A best friend is someone who you click with because you might have the same views or in ways that you can’t really describe. Often people with similar interests and personalities are drawn together and can become lifelong good friends. But remember, good friends are hard to find, so before you decide to end your friendship, make sure that your friend is indeed taking you for granted and disrespecting you. An occasional brush-off or argument in a friendship is acceptable, but if it does become a regular occurrence, then perhaps you need to make a decision and end the friendship to protect yourself from further harm.