Friendships and all other forms of relationships are sacred. If you feel strongly about a bond, you will do whatever it takes to protect it, no matter what. But oftentimes, we get hurt by the same person we’d do anything to protect. But what if you don’t want them to know that you are hurt?
Letting someone know that you’re mad at them without actually telling them can be quite difficult and, sometimes, unproductive. But if that’s what you’re planning to do, then you have to start by limiting your interaction with them and then dropping hints. Once you do so, you can maneuver the conversation in a way that will let them know that you’re upset.
Any form of friendship or an intimate relationship can seem like a piece of cake at first. But you need time and patience to handle this. This is why it’s important to let them know if they’ve hurt you. So, let’s find out how to let someone know you’re mad at them without telling them.
Why It’s Important To Let Someone Know You’re Upset?
Oftentimes, we tend to look over the things that anyone close to us says or does. And in other cases, even the slightest change in their tone is enough to make us overthink their intentions. We get hurt without realizing it. And in such cases, the chances that we want to end the relationship or friendship are pretty high.
This is why you must let them know that you’re mad. You need to express yourself to the fullest without fearing any consequences. But then again, if you don’t plan on telling them directly, there are ways you can get around it and make them understand without confronting them head-on.
Ways To Let Them Know You’re Mad At Them Without Saying A Word
There are many ways you can let someone know that you’re mad at them. What’s difficult is when you try to do it without telling them. But I’ve listed a few points below to help you out!
Drop Hints The Next Time You Hang Out
If you’re not looking to confront your friend, the best way would be to drop hints whenever you can. Let them at least get a sense of feeling that they might have done something that didn’t sit well with you.
You could try not to talk to them as much or even avoid making plans altogether. This will help them understand that you might not feel comfortable in their presence. And when that happens, a friend will surely come by and ask you what’s going on. Then you need to take that chance to specify why you’re behaving that way.
But don’t ever be mean about it. If you’re the one that turns toxic because of what that person said, then you need to re-evaluate yourself first. Be calm and collective, and most importantly, have a nice conversation and don’t blurt out hurtful words just because you’re mad at them.
Limit Your Interactions With Them
If the hints don’t work, start limiting your overall interactions with them. Firstly, you must decide whether you want that person in your life or not. Oftentimes, we get hurt over and over again by the same person without even realizing it.
So, take a stand this time and don’t give in to the urge to forcefully try to stay in that person’s life if they continue to hurt you. If you’re mad at them, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Do not completely avoid them, but limit your interaction with them so they understand that you’re upset about something they did.
If you are of value in that person’s life, they will surely come up and try to decipher the whole situation. Then you two can finally have a much-needed conversation without directly letting the other person know that you’re upset.
Start The Conversation Without Directly Bringing Up The Topic
If you want to let someone know that you’re upset with them, you don’t necessarily have to jump right into the topic. You can be subtle about it. Don’t avoid it completely. Just take a step back, give yourself some time to calm down, and then start a proper conversation.
Before you have this conversation, though, you should think about what it is that you want to tell them. What do you want to achieve from this conversation? What will give you the utmost fulfillment from this?
There will be different ways in which you can solve this situation. What you need to decide is how you want to solve it. Do you want to address an old argument? Or clean up some form of miscommunication that made you mad? Or do you feel like there’s nothing to save, so you want to set up an official boundary?
Whatever it is that you want to achieve, you need to start by starting that conversation. Or else, you’ll never be able to let them know how you feel. Just be discreet about it and you won’t have to worry too much.
Timing Is Important
The right place and time often determine the result of a conversation. Before you dive into the conversation, pick a date and the right time. Make sure that it’s somewhere private. You don’t want to be too vulnerable in a public place. Even if you’re not directly telling them that you’re upset, you still need to have a proper environment to channel your feelings.
It has to be somewhere where both of you feel comfortable and won’t lose your nerves. But make sure that it’s not during a time or in a place that might be triggering for them. Let’s say that their birthday is approaching and you decide to have that conversation close to that date. If things don’t go well, you’d just be spoiling the rest of the week for them.
And before that conversation, just write down your thoughts so that you don’t stay silent and make a fool out of yourself. You need to clarify your thoughts, so write them down beforehand.
Don’t be defensive when you speak. Don’t say things like, “You never made the effort to….” or “You don’t think to….”. This just seems as if you’re trying to paint yourself as the victim. Be kind and be respectful to whom you’re speaking to.
It’s easier to get angry than to stay calm. So, if you go into the conversation with negative feelings, you’ll never be able to get your point across. And you’ll end up doing the exact thing that you didn’t want to. Which is telling them directly that you’re upset with them.
So just take some time to get some fresh air or just walk around a bit until you’re in the right headspace. Being respectful in this conversation will show that you care about this other person.
Listen To Their Side
It can very well be the case that your friend had no idea that they even said anything negative to you in the first place. The fact that their behavior affected you negatively came as a surprise to them. In these circumstances, that person might get defensive, but it’s your call whether you want to stay calm or not.
It might surprise you too; maybe it was you who had done something initially which resulted in them acting a certain way that hurt you. Whatever it is that you want to do, this is the perfect opportunity to let them know how you’re feeling.
It might seem difficult when you think about how to let someone know you’re mad at them without telling them, but there are many ways in which you can do so that will not make them feel bad. Just stay cautious and kind.
Well, that’s it for this article. Thank you so much for giving it a read, and I hope you have an excellent day ahead!