How To Stop Judging My Girlfriend? Negative Effects Of Being Judgmental In A Relationship

Judging their partner often is something every couple goes through, and too many of them end up calling it quits. Constantly judging your girlfriend will cause nothing but chaos in your relationship and end it eventually. This may lead you to ask, how to stop judging my girlfriend? It can be a bit challenging to overcome this habit, but not impossible.

For starters, make a habit of taking your time before you jump to assuming the worst. You may not have control over your thoughts, but you can distract yourself from them. Try to see things from your girlfriend’s perspective, put yourself in her shoes, and understand her better. She is entitled to her individuality.

But, is that all you will have to do to stop the judging habit? Nope, there is more! You will have to put in a lot of effort before you overcome your judgments. Luckily, I have come up with a few tips for you to try. So, let’s get started!

Why Do You Judge Your Girlfriend?

It is only natural for human beings to judge one another. When you notice your girlfriend being different from your perspective, or personality, your mind immediately shifts to judging. But, that doesn’t always mean you are looking for a fault in them. Judging is just a natural human trait that you can’t control.

So, maybe you had a disagreement with your girlfriend, or you found her behavior unappealing, so you start comparing her to other women. You believe your vision of her is superior to the real her, and you refuse to accept her for who she is. But the truth is that by attempting to change her, you are jeopardizing your relationship.

When you first started to date her, everything she did must have appealed to you. Most likely, she was showing her good side and her best behavior, and you did the same too.

As your relationship grew, you discovered their other sides – ways of living, behaviors, strange traits, and actions. Most of the time, you wish a particular thing about your girlfriend was different. Maybe there is something about her you once found attractive, but now it is only annoying. These things will lead you to judge and compare her in many unimaginable ways.

Sometimes, even a lack of self-love can make someone judge another. If you don’t love yourself enough, how can you love another human being? You will always tend to be judgmental towards your girlfriend.

You may mean well when you judge her for her own good, but you will only feel more and more distant from her.

How Judgement Affects Your Relationship?

To think you are better than your girlfriend and unintentionally judge her only shows you don’t accept her for who she is. Hence, you start resenting her, finding more reasons to criticize her and push her away. Judging separates you from her and your relationship. You may still have a standing relationship, but it will be a broken one nonetheless. 

Judgment can have both positive and negative effects on your relationship. It is not always that judging will only indicate you are thinking badly of your girlfriend. Any approval is a form of judgment because it is something you are suggesting from your perspective.

Most of the time, judging has a negative impact on relationships. You will catch yourself doing it out of consciousness and have no control over it. And, once you pass your comment on to your girlfriend, she may have self-doubt or even worse.

Whenever you judge her, you are only showing her she is not good enough for you. Everything she does, you look down at her actions and make her feel unacceptable.

Being judged by your significant other can lead to anxiety, depression, and self-hatred. We look up to our partner’s opinions and value them, but listening to their judgment all the time can really bring us down. There comes a point when your relationship will become toxic, as one is always judgmental towards the other.

5 Ways To Stop Being Judgmental To Your Girlfriend

It will be an easy road to pass. You may have a hard time focusing on the good, but you will definitely get a hold of it.

So, here are a few ways you can move on from judging your girlfriend:

1. See It From Her Perspective

Firstly, even if you don’t always approve of everything your girlfriend does, you should still respect and support her actions. She may not always talk to you about her struggles, and your opinions may bring them down.

Your thoughts may be positive, but you never know if they will change or affect the other person hearing them.

If you believe some of your opinions can be left unsaid, then avoid bringing them up. You never know what your girlfriend is going through, and anything you say will affect her, whether it is good or bad.

2. Accept And Love Her

The world will stay the way it is, and letting it be itself is what makes it beautiful and heavenly. So, no matter how much you try to change your girlfriend, you will only fail to make her better in your way.

Her true self is what makes her real, and your version of her is only an illusion. So, accept and love them to make them feel assured and welcome.

3. Avoid Jumping In Conclusion

Next, take a step back, see the bigger picture, and try to understand your girlfriend’s actions. Anything she does, whether it is good or bad, reasonable or unreasonable, you have no right to decide.

If you suggest something to her, think carefully about how she will take it. Take yourself as an example, and see if you would want her opinion on everything you do. Once you suppress those emotions, you will start to feel close to her and her world.

4. Switch Your Focus

Whenever you feel like you are going down that path of judging, move on from it. There is nothing good about dwelling on those thoughts.

The more you shift away from judging, the better for you and your relationship. If you catch yourself being judgmental, distract yourself with positive things. With fewer things to worry and be anxious about, you will feel much better once you stop thinking about those matters.

5. Avoid Passing Judgment

Finally, while evaluating your girlfriend may feel good for a short period, it might lead to a range of health issues in the long run. When you evaluate your partner, you may feel good about yourself, but in reality, it is not good for you and, of course, her. Judging will only make you feel worse.

Nobody wants to be in a toxic relationship where there is constant criticism and negativity.  Avoiding bringing up any judgmental thoughts will only help you be a better friend to your girlfriend. A relationship is healthy and happier when there is love and acceptance of one another.


To wrap it all up, loving your partner will make them happy and possibly make you happier too. Choose to love and accept them because love is all that counts at the end of the day.

So, were you wondering, how to stop judging my girlfriend? If so, I hope our article has covered everything to help you understand the process. As always, thank you for stopping by & have a nice day!

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