Why Am I Attracted To Smart Guys? Things You Need to Know About Sapiosexuality

Many people have questioned themselves about why they are attracted to smart guys, girls, and others. The answer can be simple. Your preference for this trait may point to something. It is known as Sapiosexuality. And it is a fascinating thing. 

Sapiosexuality is the attraction to intelligence. If you are attracted to intelligent people, then you might be sapiosexual. 

Since there are many opinions about it, it can be a bit complex. But people of all sexual orientations agree on one thing. It is a bit different from other sexual identities.

Why Am I Attracted to Smart Guys?

Attraction is not the only thing that defines sapiosexuality. Very high attraction and arousal define it. If you feel drawn to smart people sexually, it can be sapiosexuality. They are attracted to intelligent people even if they aren’t talking to each other. It’s their smartness that speaks to them. 

They find engaging discussions about deep topics attractive. As we interact with them more, their charisma and self-respect become attractive. Moreover, they are attracted to their use of intellect.

Sapiosexuality can be easy to spot. The first sign would be that you find yourself attracted to intelligent people. But it can be hard to tell the difference between simple attraction and being actually drawn romantically to intelligence. You can check your signs from the most commonly found ones. 

Are You Sapiosexual?

Among the many signs, some of these may apply to you. You should always first consider your own feelings when you think about being sapiosexual. After that, it can help to read about the most common traits. 

1. Long, meaningful conversations appeal to you

If you are talking to someone and the conversation turns philosophical, you feel aroused. You feel drawn to the person you are talking to when they share their opinions on the topic.

Back and forth conversation stimulates you as well. Healthy jokes and comments can be a sign of thinking power. That draws you into the person and makes you curious about them. 

2. Wit and sarcasm are better than anything

A lot of people find sarcasm to be rude. But sapiosexuals are attracted to intelligence, and sarcasm is a sign of it. You are attracted to this display of wit and confidence.

Sarcasm is a sign of quick thinking. Sometimes, people also consider it as a form of flirting. You find the quick responses charming, and might even reply with sarcasm to encourage them. 

3. You like an intellectual challenge

When you put forward your idea, and someone challenges it using logic, you feel stimulated. You are open to new ideas and arguments. 

Someone refuting your opinions has to show their reasons. So, when you find out their way of thinking, you feel excited. Their added confidence also helps to make them look attractive. 

4. You like calm and collected people

A big sign of being intelligent is someone controlling their reactions. They feel aroused by people that remain cool even in stressful situations. Seeing people get through each problem in a collected way makes them appeal to you more. 

Sapiosexuals are alike in this way. A lot of them also work through their problems quietly. That’s why they end up choosing partners who calmly solve issues too. 

5. You also like when they listen to you

Learning new things can be fun for everybody. But you especially like it when your partner listens to your ideas and opinions. When you get respect this way, it is stimulating for you.

A big part of sapiosexuality is communicating. The understanding between you and another person makes you feel more attracted to them. 

Exploring Sapiosexuality in Yourself and Others

Why Am I Attracted To Smart Guys

People talk about sapiosexuality a lot in the media. But, they lose a lot of facts. You might find out you or someone you know is one. What should you do then?

There can be a lot of bad ideas about it. But you shouldn’t feel bad or ashamed of it. It’s a part of someone’s personality and preference. The first thing you can do is find spaces with other sapiosexuals. It can be validating, as well as open you up to new experiences. 

Online, you can find relevant research. There is also information and communities that deal with this topic. It can be another step towards coming to terms with the concept. Online dating sites now offer ways to connect with more of this category. Tinder has a sexual orientation slot dedicated to them!

Being Sapiosexual Can Make Dating Better

Since it seems like sapiosexuality is a bad thing, I am here to tell you that it is not. Instead, it can turn out to be better for you. 

These people are good at finding intelligence in people. When we are looking for a partner, it might be hard to find someone like us. That is why smartness tells a sapiosexual person that they are on the right path.

Partners who can carry out long and intellectual conversations are important. We can discuss and work through life problems with them with ease. Not only do they arouse sapiosexuals, but they can also help them. 

How to Deal with Sapiosexuality?

Sapiosexuality can be hard to navigate. But you can try and get used to this identity slowly. Some quick tips to solve problems are:

1. Getting to know yourself

The first thing to do is to understand what you need. As a sapiosexual, you can start by figuring out how to talk to people about it.

You should find out what you want from others. It is also important to know what you can give them as well. This will help you form better connections with people. 

2. Be comfortable with what you want

Make sure to tell people about your needs. Learn more about someone else’s needs from you. And be comfortable when you tell them about your sapiosexuality. 

It can be an amazing thing when you are connecting with intelligent people. Make sure to use it in a good way. 

3. Interact with people like you

The internet can be very open to ideas like sapiosexuality. Look out for places where you can share your experiences. Invite your friends and family to discuss this topic with you.

Open-minded people can create a safe space for you to learn more about your sexuality. Their views on the topic will help you understand and accept yourself. 

4. Be prepared to explain sapiosexuality

Learn as much as you can about this sexuality. You might be afraid of people disagreeing with you on this. But you can tell them about your experience and the community to them.

Explaining sapiosexuality to people will help you make them more open. It can also help others to share their own experiences comfortably.

Coming to Terms With Your Sapiosexuality

You can take a step in the right direction by discussing the facts and experiences of this sexuality. That way, you can make more people learn about sapiosexuality. 

The concept of it may seem odd to many. But it is a sexuality that has been there for a long time. 

It is slowly becoming more and more relevant. Now, the sapiosexual community is welcoming more people. These communities are warm and non-judgmental.


This simple guide to sapiosexuality can help you start learning. Now, hopefully, you can understand why you are attracted to smart guys. This may be the first step you take in learning about it. 

Thanks for stopping by, and I hope this article was able to help you out with any query you had. Best of luck! 

Related Posts

Related Posts